Just starting, want to know about Ejac Control

korkelz, that seems to me to be a very astute self-analysis, and I appreciate your apology very much.

RE: grounding negative emotion... we humans often have a habit of using anger to mask more vulnerable challenging emotions... (e.g. sadness, longing, embarassment, etc.)... perhaps a bit of food for thought and introspection.

Very well articulated, korkelz, you're a quick study! Welcome back to the Authentic Emotions Zone!

korkelz,

I think we share a common dislike for the one sided learning we get from books. Regardless of how authoritative, accurate and well written they may be, they are still just an abstract substitution for the physical sensuality we living creatures crave to enrich our souls.

Jack made an important point here -

When we speak "to" someone it is a one way conversation, when we speak "with" someone the conversation is bi-directional with true connections being made and meanings being conveyed. Fathers often speak "to" their children and bosses speak "to" their workers, but lovers speak "with" each other and most of that speaking is on a non-verbal level.

I've heard various percentages cited, but as much as 90% of the meaning in a conversation is conveyed via non-verbal communication. For those of us who intuitively thrive on that type of communication, books are a cold source indeed for adding meaning to our lives.

Perhaps you and your wife may wish to expand and explore your non-verbal communication skills to take the "dialogue" to a new level. One very effective way of doing that is through learning some techniques for sensual massage.

Many cities have individual practitioner/teachers who often sponsor very reasonably priced massage courses or workshops. I have a feeling such a workshop would prove very beneficial for the both of you.

If it does prove beneficial you may find yourself expanding into and exploring the teachings of Tantra, in which your skills being developed in KSMO practice and the sensual massage will serve you well.

A sensual massage is very much about expressing passion and if you are truly focused on reading your partners body language (100% non-verbal communication) there will be no misunderstanding and the sub-conscious communication will speak volumes.

GREAT news, korkelz... You're really dialing it in... I am VERY happy to hear about how strong the Echo Effects and the positive emotional transformations are! I think you're really getting the hang of it, and the emotional growth you're reporting is fantastic!

Be aware that as humans, all of our evolution goes in cycles, so after a surge of growth like this, you may find yourself drifting into a less dramatic phase for a while... Don't be concerned, that's a very natural ebb and flow!

After big growth surges like this, including emotionally, there's a natural tendency called regression to the mean (where mean is approximately a synonym for baseline), although in this practice, over time, you will find that that baseline or mean is rising!

People sometimes become concerned after a big rush of growth like this, and then things quiet down for a bit. It's just a natural period of integration.

It's really wonderful to hear how you and your Father are opening your hearts to each other as a result of your practice. That is HUGE!!!

Enjoy, and... In-Joy!!!

Hi Gang,
Just discovered page 2, DOH!

Firstly Korkelz, I am not in anyway insulted or upset by your comments. Please feel free to continue with your open and honest feelings here, they are most welcome by me. As I'm sure you are aware everybody on this forum is here for the same reasons, to learn and help others with life and KSMO. We are all at different parts of our journeys, all have different life experiences and expectations, not everything everybody says will always be helpful, it's up to you to decide what to take from each exchange of information.
Just to get back to my original suggestion, there was two parts, firstly I've always found that whenever learning something new that a little technical knowledge helps to gain an understanding of the subject that you are enquiring about. I realise books on sexuality are plentiful and from what I can gather from your posts on noogle last year, not overly helpful to you (Hey, they don't call me Skystalker for nothin'). It's seems you have progressed leaps and bounds since then btw. The second bit of my post was aimed at Jack, since he has spent many years as a sexual educator he would have some great suggestions for reading. A book I have, The Passionate Marriage, recommended by Jack, which I have lent to friend before I even got around to reading (and not returned yet) gets good a good report from him.

A little about me. When I was a young bloke, a bit younger than you, in my early teens, I had a thirst for knowledge about sex, like most teenage boys I guess! But like you I had passion to please my partners, I didn't have any at the time btw! But I wanted to be ready and know what I was I doing when the time did come. When I did eventually find myself in a loving relationship at 19 I discovered that while all the technical knowledge I had acquired over the years was very handy, nothing compares to practical "hands on" experience, and that takes some time. By the time I was married at 25 it became evident to me was that I had developed a performance anxiety, which manifested as a mild case of a tendency for me to suffer premature ejaculation. To combat this I concentrated on caressing and the manual stimulation of my wife, with great success I might add! Not boasting here, but it took some time to master.

I don't want to hijack your magnificent thread Korkelz but just to try to answer Jacks question earlier:

I have for two nights running being in a spooning position with Mrs SW (not having intercourse, just cuddling), felt these beautiful echo effects build in me. Last night on your advice jack, I added some quiet key sounds, allowed myself to completely relax, not only my body, but let my mind let go of all this holding back and the ever pervading thought that any movement that occurs is not involuntary. I just became totally submissive to whatever may happen, Mrs SW was laying totally still (I think she was trying to get to sleep) but as the pleasure rose through my body I felt a shudder pass through me. I believe I wasn't making this happen but allowing it.

Mrs Skywalker has been driven mad by my quest for my sexual enlightenment, she says everything is great, but I know she's just being kind. I have been talking KSMO incessantly for over 18 months and now she is starting realise that there is something to this "huffing and puffing" and "scary monster noises". She'll be adding "vibrating in bed" to the list!

Korkelz, you are 22, married 1 1/2 years. I somewhat envy your position, so young yet, so in touch with your self and building relationships with your father, wife and close friend. You are truly blessed. Discovering KSMO at such a young age, and discovering yourself.
Your wife is lucky woman and I think she realises this already if not, very soon.

Just one last quick word from a bloke who's been married 20 years, but no expert that's for sure. Don't talk to a woman, just listen (you usually don't have much option anyway!). From what I've discovered over the years, it's very hard to tell a woman anything they don't want to hear. Validate her feelings, listen and touch her (I'm not talking sexual here) your connection will grow like you wouldn't believe.

Sweet dreams,
Sky

Hi Korkelz,
Well first we have to define premature ejaculation, I'm not sure of the textbook definition but as far as I'm concerned it's an unwanted ejaculation no matter how long you've been at it. I've spent many years having to control ejaculation by using the slowing down method, very frustrating for me and probably more so for Mrs SW. The slow speed doesn't quite get her to orgasm, it's quite slow and at times barely moving, when this occurs I generally dismount (for the want of a better term) and bring her to orgasm manually, trouble is, and here is a higher level gripe, she's multi-orgasmic herself, so it's not long and she's at the edge again. I have had a few occasions where the KSMO has clicked in and instead of having the feeling of an imminent ejaculation it rolled off into a full body orgasm where my penis was not the centre of attention. It was a magnificent feeling and a few more in quick succession. But I have in no way mastered it, in fact I'm baffled by it's coming and going. I don't fret though, it's just part of the journey.
Last nights events as I described above I would definitely describe as dry-o's, no penetration, no intentional direct stimulation of my penis, just a few key sounds. This for me was a definite breakthrough, submitting to the feelings and allowing whatever to happen.

Hey good luck with your wife learning KSMO, I gave Mrs SW a crash course, she became interested after I had my first multiples whilst we were making love, anyway, she's not the most patient person and a terrible mimic of sounds. Whilst trying to get Key Sound down correctly I fear she may have over done it and sort of freaked herself out, I never got the "full" story but I think she may have OD'd , she thought practising the sound to get it right over and over again, barely taking a breath would do the trick. Not so, evidently.

Cheers,
Sky

Hello again Korkelz,

I'm going to admit that I haven't laid down and done 20 min session for some time, I mean I stayed on protocol and practised 2 to 3 times a week for over twelve months before any major success (I'm a slow learner!) but I stuck with it because I could feel changes in me and I enjoyed the personal growth I felt I was achieving. I didn't overly enjoy the practise sessions but I was intrigued to see where it all would go.

Ooooh you're hard on yourself man! but like me your partners pleasure is paramount.

The best bet would be to read this blog: Sky Walkers first multiple orgasm experience during lovemaking which I typed up soon after my first KSMO experience whilst making love.

The following blogs may also be of interest to you: More of Sky_Walker's multiorgasmic experiences.

I'd also like to say that to be able to continue to thrust vigorously may take a lot of practice, this is how one makes the switch to an ejaculatory orgasm, just move faster.

But for me now, when the KSMO switch is on, I bask in the pleasure and know that I deserve the pleasure I'm receiving.

I also know that Mrs SW enjoys seeing me in this state of bliss that I have wanted for so long.

She's happy to wait for her orgasms. The multiple non ejaculatory orgasms I have tend to cause my body to convulse which in itself I suppose you could call a thrusting action on it's own. Now if I could just make it happen at will, that would top it off!

Sky

So just let go of trying to make it happen, and practice allowing it to happen.

I'm not just being picky or playing semantics either... As long as you're thinking you need to make it happen, you're not relaxing enough to allow them to happen!

Then your act of will is simply to remember to allow... to ask your deeper erotic self for them, and then... patience, grasshoppa!

Thanks Jack, perfectly said and I know it's true.
I've let go of all the thinking things out and I know how this has helped me. I have had 3 nights in a row now of wonderful orgasmic delights, just cuddling, no penetrative sex. I am finding it easier and easier to allow these to happen..... Just raising the baseline. I know one day I'll be able to allow these to happen when I have sex.
Funny thing I noticed last night, after an hour or so of many climaxes, just as I was falling asleep, , I would have a little orgasm, just a little toe curler. I surmised that that was the only time my mind would actually shut up, just as I was falling asleep! I eventually had to get out of bed and do something else to ground myself because I kept waking myself up! Not complaining!
Well it's eight PM here, might hit the sack

Sky

Lol, she be right, mate, you're spot on the KSMO signal line...
Like the I Ching counsels more than any other thing it says: Perseverance Furthers...
Congratulations!

Great progress Korkelz, When the blog section of this forum is up and running you can have a place of your own without me butting in all the time!

Who said anything about going to sleep?
2am! I'd be a zombie the next day! What time do you have to get up to be at work in the morning?
As far as grounding goes, not much required, I just got up and had a drink read something for a few minutes and back to bed, arousal lowered, cycle broken.

My early night paid no dividends, too many expectations going for night #4. Was too tired also.
Sky