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  • Just starting, want to know about Ejac Control

    Discussion in 'Main Orgasm Discussion Forum for Men and Women' started by korkelz, Mar 24, 2011.

    1. korkelz Active Member

      Sorry, I don't mean to be disrespectful, I hope this bout of negativity can quickly be overlooked. I guess I still have the problem of not knowing where to ground negative emotion.
      Jack likes this.
    2. Jack Key Sound Multiple Orgasm Trigger™ Discoverer

      korkelz, that seems to me to be a very astute self-analysis, and I appreciate your apology very much.

      RE: grounding negative emotion... we humans often have a habit of using anger to mask more vulnerable challenging emotions... (e.g. sadness, longing, embarassment, etc.)... perhaps a bit of food for thought and introspection. ;)
    3. korkelz Active Member


      Hey Sky_walker, man, really sorry about unloading the crap. Yeah, really it has to do with my personal issues that I obviously need to work through. I feel bad, wish I hadn't said any of that. It's rooted in the feeling of being misunderstood and being unable to make a crucial heartistic (Heartistic - having to do with the heart) connection that would lead to the shared understanding I have been so desperate for... I guess, a little too desperate. So, when I read your honest advice coming only from a desire to help, it reminded me of past experiences where I put a lot of passion and got back misunderstanding. I have a lot of passion for things I pursue in life and sometimes forget that, while passion can be a positive driving force, it can also be wielded as a powerful weapon of negativity.

      Just want to let everyone know I really appreciate this community and am disappointed in myself that I felt the need to devalue the community with my negative words.
      Jack likes this.
    4. Jack Key Sound Multiple Orgasm Trigger™ Discoverer

      Very well articulated, korkelz, you're a quick study! Welcome back to the Authentic Emotions Zone! ;)
    5. rumel VERY SMILEY Yeoman 1st Class Administrator

      korkelz,

      I think we share a common dislike for the one sided learning we get from books. Regardless of how authoritative, accurate and well written they may be, they are still just an abstract substitution for the physical sensuality we living creatures crave to enrich our souls.

      Jack made an important point here -

      When we speak "to" someone it is a one way conversation, when we speak "with" someone the conversation is bi-directional with true connections being made and meanings being conveyed. Fathers often speak "to" their children and bosses speak "to" their workers, but lovers speak "with" each other and most of that speaking is on a non-verbal level.

      I've heard various percentages cited, but as much as 90% of the meaning in a conversation is conveyed via non-verbal communication. For those of us who intuitively thrive on that type of communication, books are a cold source indeed for adding meaning to our lives.

      Perhaps you and your wife may wish to expand and explore your non-verbal communication skills to take the "dialogue" to a new level. One very effective way of doing that is through learning some techniques for sensual massage.

      Many cities have individual practitioner/teachers who often sponsor very reasonably priced massage courses or workshops. I have a feeling such a workshop would prove very beneficial for the both of you.

      If it does prove beneficial you may find yourself expanding into and exploring the teachings of Tantra, in which your skills being developed in KSMO practice and the sensual massage will serve you well.

      A sensual massage is very much about expressing passion and if you are truly focused on reading your partners body language (100% non-verbal communication) there will be no misunderstanding and the sub-conscious communication will speak volumes.
      Jack likes this.
    6. korkelz Active Member

      Gonna hit the hay, but just wanted to share some quick thoughts, and maybe some more tomorrow. Don't worry rumel, don't worry so much about the "physically-pleasing-my-wife" side of things. Because of my aneros use and learning about sexuality from it, my wife has said she loves how the orgasm feels when I touch her, more than ever before. I've told her that I now possess an ability touch her based on her vocalizations and non-verbal cues, and somehow I feel like it's also instinctive the way I've learned to touch her. I learn about that more every time I pay attention.

      So, the area that is of more concern is communication, connection, understanding the feminine spirit, internal nature, the more intangible side. So, let's talk more about that, and I can see you've already started touching upon this subject, thank you!
      Jack likes this.
    7. korkelz Active Member

      _______________________________
      Session 3

      The session took place in bed this morning. Instead of getting out of bed, I decided to relax, grab the pillows for my legs, and start the practice. Prior to this, I was experiencing similar sensations to what I described in "Echo Effects (ps2)." Also, negative emotions were trying to creep in and then the echo effects would fade, and I wouldn't be as relaxed. But I kept telling myself to let go of these feelings, let in gratitude. I could then relax and echo effects continued. This happened multiple times.


      So! I went into the session experiencing pleasure. I started making the key sound.

      I started using erotic touches after 10 minutes. Prior to that, nearing the 10-minute-mark, I was already experiencing sexual pleasure. I felt I didn't even need to touch myself; but I wanted to follow protocol.

      After I started adding the touches, it became difficult to relax. I had palpitations at one point and my penis was rock hard and quite sensitive, kinda like using the aneros. I was also I was experiencing pleasure to the point that it was difficult to make a key sound at regular intervals, sometimes would be interrupted by erratic breathing. But I was thinking about the protocol and knew that the point of the key sound is to rewire myself so that I make a key sound when I experience pleasure, so I was trying to make that connection.

      Prior to the the 20-minute-mark, I swear I was experiencing involuntary pelvic thrusting (for the first time). While this was going on I was trying to prove to myself that it was involuntary by trying to relax as much as possible, letting my body take over, and to my surprise I kept thrusting and honestly felt that I wasn't consciously making it happen. This made it really difficult to relax and make the key sound! But I managed... :D

      During practice, I got a few drops of pre-cum as well.

      Even as I'm typing this, I'm experiencing P-waves & erection... crazy!:eek:

      :)
      _______________________________

      My session was actually due last night, but my dad and I have started a condition of calling and talking to each other every day for 21 days, and today is the last day; however, we will continue this. The point is to be able to share our wisdom so that we can more quickly overcome the problems of negativity in our relationships; also a way to bond. My dad and I have never really bonded before I left home. We talked for an hour mostly about issues relating to sex last night. We talk about relationships and about our day and our struggles. This communication is a way to release negativity and uplift our spirits.


      Also, last night I saw Sucker Punch with a friend I don't know so well, and I came out of the movie very emotional. The movie is actually pretty deep. Go see it without watching the trailer or even viewing photos, everything will be a surprise that way. So, my friend and I were talking on the phone after we parted and we had a deep conversation about life, attitude, positive thinking. I've never done this with anyone before: I decided we should meet up and talk more about all this stuff.

      Part of the 21 day condition was to pray about what it means to be a true son, true husband, true brother, and true father (well, I'm not having children quite yet). Yesterday I realized my prayers are being answered:

      [x]True Son - Wanting to bond with my father, wanting to solve his problems.
      [x]True Brother - Finding a friend who I can have a deep conversation with. I never had a brother, actually.
      [ ]True Husband - uhh ok, not checking that off quite yet.
      [ ]True Father - definitely not yet.

      Do you see that order? Seems to me that there are four levels here, and you must progress in the first level before you can make progress in the second level, and third, and finally fourth.
      Jack and Laly like this.
    8. Jack Key Sound Multiple Orgasm Trigger™ Discoverer

      GREAT news, korkelz... You're really dialing it in... I am VERY happy to hear about how strong the Echo Effects and the positive emotional transformations are! I think you're really getting the hang of it, and the emotional growth you're reporting is fantastic!

      Be aware that as humans, all of our evolution goes in cycles, so after a surge of growth like this, you may find yourself drifting into a less dramatic phase for a while... Don't be concerned, that's a very natural ebb and flow!

      After big growth surges like this, including emotionally, there's a natural tendency called regression to the mean (where mean is approximately a synonym for baseline), although in this practice, over time, you will find that that baseline or mean is rising! :)

      People sometimes become concerned after a big rush of growth like this, and then things quiet down for a bit. It's just a natural period of integration.

      It's really wonderful to hear how you and your Father are opening your hearts to each other as a result of your practice. That is HUGE!!!

      Enjoy, and... In-Joy!!!
      korkelz likes this.
    9. korkelz Active Member

      Ah, I'm glad you said this, Jack! I've definitely been having the problem of expecting growth to continue linearly. So, now I can be happy with my growth and be prepared to return to a slightly higher baseline.
      Jack likes this.
    10. Sky_walker Administrator Posing as a Moderator

      Hi Gang,
      Just discovered page 2, DOH!

      Firstly Korkelz, I am not in anyway insulted or upset by your comments. Please feel free to continue with your open and honest feelings here, they are most welcome by me. As I'm sure you are aware everybody on this forum is here for the same reasons, to learn and help others with life and KSMO. We are all at different parts of our journeys, all have different life experiences and expectations, not everything everybody says will always be helpful, it's up to you to decide what to take from each exchange of information.
      Just to get back to my original suggestion, there was two parts, firstly I've always found that whenever learning something new that a little technical knowledge helps to gain an understanding of the subject that you are enquiring about. I realise books on sexuality are plentiful and from what I can gather from your posts on noogle last year, not overly helpful to you (Hey, they don't call me Skystalker for nothin'). It's seems you have progressed leaps and bounds since then btw. The second bit of my post was aimed at Jack, since he has spent many years as a sexual educator he would have some great suggestions for reading. A book I have, The Passionate Marriage, recommended by Jack, which I have lent to friend before I even got around to reading (and not returned yet:mad:) gets good a good report from him.

      A little about me. When I was a young bloke, a bit younger than you, in my early teens, I had a thirst for knowledge about sex, like most teenage boys I guess! But like you I had passion to please my partners, I didn't have any at the time btw! But I wanted to be ready and know what I was I doing when the time did come. When I did eventually find myself in a loving relationship at 19 I discovered that while all the technical knowledge I had acquired over the years was very handy, nothing compares to practical "hands on" experience, and that takes some time. By the time I was married at 25 it became evident to me was that I had developed a performance anxiety, which manifested as a mild case of a tendency for me to suffer premature ejaculation. To combat this I concentrated on caressing and the manual stimulation of my wife, with great success I might add! Not boasting here, but it took some time to master.

      I don't want to hijack your magnificent thread Korkelz but just to try to answer Jacks question earlier:

      I have for two nights running being in a spooning position with Mrs SW (not having intercourse, just cuddling), felt these beautiful echo effects build in me. Last night on your advice jack, I added some quiet key sounds, allowed myself to completely relax, not only my body, but let my mind let go of all this holding back and the ever pervading thought that any movement that occurs is not involuntary. I just became totally submissive to whatever may happen, Mrs SW was laying totally still (I think she was trying to get to sleep) but as the pleasure rose through my body I felt a shudder pass through me. I believe I wasn't making this happen but allowing it.

      Mrs Skywalker has been driven mad by my quest for my sexual enlightenment, she says everything is great, but I know she's just being kind. I have been talking KSMO incessantly for over 18 months and now she is starting realise that there is something to this "huffing and puffing" and "scary monster noises". She'll be adding "vibrating in bed" to the list!

      Korkelz, you are 22, married 1 1/2 years. I somewhat envy your position, so young yet, so in touch with your self and building relationships with your father, wife and close friend. You are truly blessed. Discovering KSMO at such a young age, and discovering yourself.
      Your wife is lucky woman and I think she realises this already if not, very soon.

      Just one last quick word from a bloke who's been married 20 years, but no expert that's for sure. Don't talk to a woman, just listen (you usually don't have much option anyway!). From what I've discovered over the years, it's very hard to tell a woman anything they don't want to hear. Validate her feelings, listen and touch her (I'm not talking sexual here) your connection will grow like you wouldn't believe.

      Sweet dreams,
      Sky
      Jack likes this.
    11. korkelz Active Member

      Naa, this thread is open to whatever. I'm using it as an open journal and chat.

      Thank you for your kind words! Heheh, my wife and I have similar blessings. We were matched by our parents under the Unification Church. It's more of a wordwide family than a church. My family and I have traveled from Massachusetts to Arizona and along the way we needed a place to sleep, so we looked up church members in whatever area we were at. It would be no different if we were travelling to Europe or Asia. Sometimes my parents knew the family from past country-wide, even worldwide church gatherings. My parents have also lived with some of these people for several years at a time. This was back before my dad and mom were matched and married by Sun Myung Moon. Parents are encouraged to teach their children the principles of life and we have principle workshops for children and young adults. I know people from all over the country as well. We are to never have a prior relationship of any kind before we are matched and married. Of course, we must take ownership over our relationship, we are not forced into anything.

      Haha, everyone else has said the same so far (Jack, Laly, Rumel). I'm to talk with my wife as opposed to "to" her. Sky_walker, maybe our wives are similar in that they like pleasure... and that's as far as it goes. Have you mastered ejaculation control or... where are you in your KSMO progress? Any dry-o yet? My wife has also been put off a few times by my sexual endeavors claiming sexual stuff is the only thing that makes me happy and that I'm not focused enough on improving our relationship. :rolleyes: Anyway, point is that I think my wife likes the idea of sex and pleasure as she has better experiences with it. So, I imagine that when I master KSMO, her outlook on sex will change drastically for the better, and I'm sure she'll want to learn KSMO, too.
      Jack likes this.
    12. Sky_walker Administrator Posing as a Moderator

      Hi Korkelz,
      Well first we have to define premature ejaculation, I'm not sure of the textbook definition but as far as I'm concerned it's an unwanted ejaculation no matter how long you've been at it. I've spent many years having to control ejaculation by using the slowing down method, very frustrating for me and probably more so for Mrs SW. The slow speed doesn't quite get her to orgasm, it's quite slow and at times barely moving, when this occurs I generally dismount (for the want of a better term) and bring her to orgasm manually, trouble is, and here is a higher level gripe, she's multi-orgasmic herself, so it's not long and she's at the edge again. I have had a few occasions where the KSMO has clicked in and instead of having the feeling of an imminent ejaculation it rolled off into a full body orgasm where my penis was not the centre of attention. It was a magnificent feeling and a few more in quick succession. But I have in no way mastered it, in fact I'm baffled by it's coming and going. I don't fret though, it's just part of the journey.
      Last nights events as I described above I would definitely describe as dry-o's, no penetration, no intentional direct stimulation of my penis, just a few key sounds. This for me was a definite breakthrough, submitting to the feelings and allowing whatever to happen.

      Hey good luck with your wife learning KSMO, I gave Mrs SW a crash course, she became interested after I had my first multiples whilst we were making love, anyway, she's not the most patient person and a terrible mimic of sounds. Whilst trying to get Key Sound down correctly I fear she may have over done it and sort of freaked herself out, I never got the "full" story but I think she may have OD'd , she thought practising the sound to get it right over and over again, barely taking a breath would do the trick. Not so, evidently.:rolleyes:

      Cheers,
      Sky
      Jack likes this.
    13. korkelz Active Member

      Feels like it's been ages since my last KSMO practice... well, I get to practice tomorrow (today, if you consider I'm up at 1am.)

      My ULTIMATE definition of premature ejaculation: When a woman desires a certain thrust speed & pressure for a length of time that the man is unable to deliver due to entering the dreaded refractory period... something like that! :cool:

      Sounds amazing! I am really happy that you've had such an experience.Can you tell me more? Such as, were you able to continue thrusting during this orgasm? Were you able to thrust to your wife's content at all?

      When did you have your first dry o and what was it like?

      Ahh, it is easy to become envious of such experiences, but I recently learned a great lesson. Intsead of feeling envy, I can use the power of intention by imagining myself experiencing or having what I desire. Also, it's important to feel happy for one another. Believe it or not, I just did this and I am feeling some good P-waves; this has happened in the past as well.
    14. Sky_walker Administrator Posing as a Moderator

      Hello again Korkelz,

      I'm going to admit that I haven't laid down and done 20 min session for some time, I mean I stayed on protocol and practised 2 to 3 times a week for over twelve months before any major success (I'm a slow learner!) but I stuck with it because I could feel changes in me and I enjoyed the personal growth I felt I was achieving. I didn't overly enjoy the practise sessions but I was intrigued to see where it all would go.

      Ooooh you're hard on yourself man! but like me your partners pleasure is paramount.

      The best bet would be to read this blog: Sky Walkers first multiple orgasm experience during lovemaking which I typed up soon after my first KSMO experience whilst making love.

      The following blogs may also be of interest to you: More of Sky_Walker's multiorgasmic experiences.

      I'd also like to say that to be able to continue to thrust vigorously may take a lot of practice, this is how one makes the switch to an ejaculatory orgasm, just move faster.

      But for me now, when the KSMO switch is on, I bask in the pleasure and know that I deserve the pleasure I'm receiving.

      I also know that Mrs SW enjoys seeing me in this state of bliss that I have wanted for so long.

      She's happy to wait for her orgasms. The multiple non ejaculatory orgasms I have tend to cause my body to convulse which in itself I suppose you could call a thrusting action on it's own. Now if I could just make it happen at will, that would top it off!

      Sky
    15. Jack Key Sound Multiple Orgasm Trigger™ Discoverer

      So just let go of trying to make it happen, and practice allowing it to happen.

      I'm not just being picky or playing semantics either... As long as you're thinking you need to make it happen, you're not relaxing enough to allow them to happen! ;)

      Then your act of will is simply to remember to allow... to ask your deeper erotic self for them, and then... patience, grasshoppa!
      Sky_walker likes this.
    16. Sky_walker Administrator Posing as a Moderator

      Thanks Jack, perfectly said and I know it's true.
      I've let go of all the thinking things out and I know how this has helped me. I have had 3 nights in a row now of wonderful orgasmic delights, just cuddling, no penetrative sex. I am finding it easier and easier to allow these to happen..... Just raising the baseline;). I know one day I'll be able to allow these to happen when I have sex.
      Funny thing I noticed last night, after an hour or so of many climaxes, just as I was falling asleep, , I would have a little orgasm, just a little toe curler. I surmised that that was the only time my mind would actually shut up, just as I was falling asleep! I eventually had to get out of bed and do something else to ground myself because I kept waking myself up! Not complaining!;)
      Well it's eight PM here, might hit the sack:D

      Sky
      Jack likes this.
    17. korkelz Active Member

      Who goes to sleep at 8? I go to sleep at 2am usually! haha. My wife and I are definitely night owls. Hey Sky_walker, what did you do to ground yourself?
    18. Jack Key Sound Multiple Orgasm Trigger™ Discoverer

      Lol, she be right, mate, you're spot on the KSMO signal line...
      Like the I Ching counsels more than any other thing it says: Perseverance Furthers...
      Congratulations! :D
    19. korkelz Active Member

      Echo Effects (ps3)

      This morning I had the longest erection I've ever had...:eek: Even when I thought I was relaxed and no longer aroused, to my surprise, I was still rock hard. Interesting! I was also getting hit by P-waves now and then if something brushed against it.

      Session 4

      Awesome session! :cool: I felt some tingles as well as a strong P-wave before I began, as a result of preparing my mind.

      Started like I always do and waited 10 minutes before erotic touches. Knowing that I recently had an amazing peak experience (see Session 4), I was prepared to have a quieter session. I was glad to be experiencing the baseline of my progress, because this is the best time to exercise the ability to relax, to let go of expectation, let go of a need to have a great experience, and to let in gratitude without depending on echo effects.

      Can't wait for my next session for another opportunity to develop these skills further.

      This forum is a great way to record my small victories. I too easily forget the little signs of progress. Acknowledging these things and remembering them combats feelings of disappointment or lack of progress.
      Jack likes this.
    20. Sky_walker Administrator Posing as a Moderator

      Great progress Korkelz, When the blog section of this forum is up and running you can have a place of your own without me butting in all the time!

      Who said anything about going to sleep?;)
      2am! I'd be a zombie the next day! What time do you have to get up to be at work in the morning?
      As far as grounding goes, not much required, I just got up and had a drink read something for a few minutes and back to bed, arousal lowered, cycle broken.

      My early night paid no dividends, too many expectations going for night #4. Was too tired also.
      Sky
      Jack likes this.

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