Day 33:
Tried to practice, but my spot in the basement was just too friggin' cold with the fall winds around the house tonight. Energy also getting low. Didn't push it. Just enjoyed the feelings I got.

Day 34:
Short practice - too tired. Another long week and Halloween to boot. Everyone else in the house (wife and kids) crashed out at 9pm. 11pm and I am ready to crash too.

Roll-on weekend!

Bhikku

Day 35:
Busy Day, too tired. Did not try and push the river.

Day 36:
Too tired, busy day. River still dissuading me from pushing.
Also started with my work on NaNoWriMo (www.nanowrimo.org) which took
precedence tonight.

Day 37:
Made a good move and went to bed at the same time as the kids (8:30)
and my wife woke me at 11:00 so I could do some writing with a refreshed
mind. Worked a treat! My work on the nanowrimo (National novel writing
month - international actually. The goal is 50K words in November).

So the writing went well and really stirred up the creative juices. At
about 1:30 I finished for the day with a sense of euphoria. So much coming
together. The creativity of writing seems to mesh with the creative
aspect of sexuality. I physically experienced the connection when I went out
for a post-writing smoke and used a couple of gentle KS. The sensations came
strongly around my heart and were connected with my base/genital area.

So of course, I decided to pursue this one further. I got about 10 minutes into
the practice - echoes building strongly - and noticed that my perceptions were
changing. I have experienced something similar before in meditation; loosing my
grounding. The perceptual shift is wierd. It feels as if the dimensions of
physical objects, including my body just stop making sense. My finger could be
tinier than a pin or as large as a football field. The relative location of
things also starts to bend. Opening my eyes helps but does not dissipate this
strange frame of reference. The cure, I know, is to visualise grounding - making
a solid connection with my body to the earth. I did not push this though and
just followed the experience. Very pleasurable, but at a plateau.

Thinking about this now, I think what happened was that an energetic breaker
blew. More energy was coming than my system was prepared for and so it closed
down the grounding - or limited it. Well, it's a hypothesis...

Then the spell was broken by our youngest waking for a bottle.

Well, what comes next?

Bhikku

Day 38:
Not much energy today. Deeply into writing. A gentle practice of the KS only before going to bed.

Day 39:
Today my energy has been soaring. Throughout the day I had an aroused sense of energy in my system, throughout my torso.

I came to the practice at about 9 and stuck with it through two sides of Adelhard Roidinger (Schattseite (sp?)). Lots and lots of echoes to work with. I found that letting some of the echoes express themselves through gently vocalized sighs also helped the energy to move and felt really good.

A few times, I felt the move towards a greater wave of pleasure. Each time it subsided towards a lower plateau after a minute or so.

But it felt pretty good tonight.

Cheers
Bhikku

Day 40:
Before coming to the practice tonight, I already felt keyed up. I spent a few minutes in the online chat before a combination of kids and a borrowed laptop took me offline again...

Anyhow. At the start of the practice, and very quickly the KS bought me to a very heightened state; within the first 5 minutes. This level then seemed to subside and return again a couple of times during the practice. Stimulation? minimal...

One thing I noted - as I was enjoying the ehoes, if I allowed even a small vocalization on the exhale - not a KS but a short 'aaah' then that had an amazing effect on the echoes themselves. It seemed to connect with them in some way and bring me more completely into an experience of them. It was weird but felt very good.

Much later when I went to bed, I followed my breathing using the same kind of breathing pattern, but no vocalization. The same kind of intensity of energy flow was there. More of the shakes this time though, but nothing compared to what I experienced a few weeks ago. Perhaps blocking with the incomplete KS. Having experienced what even a little vocalization can do, I would not be suprised.

And regarding feeling keyed up - it is 2:30 and I am feeling in the same kind of buoyant energized state as yesterday before practicing.

It is nice to report the positive...

:-)

Bhikku

Day 41:
It definitely feels like I am on a roll here. Tonight the practice keyed up to the same kind of level as last night, very quickly. Feeling very 'spacious' with it. Room for this stuff to flow. And with that room it seems the shakes have largely subsided. What shakes I do get now seem to have moved. Shoulders, and even some sense in my upper arms.

Last night before the practice I went out to watch the moon and used a gentle KS - I felt a shaft of energy from head to foot. It was breif, but definitely there.

The practice was very pleasant - and now I can feel a gentle voice, not the nagging of a couple of weeks ago, that wants to push. I am politely declining to listen, and instead am enjoying practicing when I get the time.

But - does this ever feel like progress. A couple of weeks ago in my kitchen-sink funk I would not have believed it could open up like this.

Awe

Bhikku

Day43:
Wipe-out! My eldest son was in a funk about Mama not being around for a few days (off on a course) and he made it through till dinner time before he could not stomach it any more. For those without kids, I will leave out the graphics. For those with kids - you have been there, done that... From the POV of KMSO, not conducive!

Day44:
Okay. Now this evening was really interesting. I have found that the act of entering into the practice itself over the last few days has alone caused a lot of energy to start flowing. Just lying down with the intention to practice. In fact, the last few days the energy has been not far from the surface at any time.

Having done my bit of writing for the day, I settled in for a short (ha!) practice starting at about 11:30pm. I started by just using the KS. No stimulation, no nothing. Things really started moving; shakes coming and going (breathing into them and subtle posture changes I have found really help to free up the energy they are blocking. Also visualizing *grounding* - a strong connection to the earth helps!). I kept up just that practice for probably half an hour or so, and a few times felt waves of increasing strength and unfamiliarity. A movement towards orgasm. Each time I tried to allow them to exist without my rational mind interfering, classifying, comparing etc... Just trying to stay in the moment.

I then took a short break for a pee, but was keen to get back into it. During the next session which had several short breaks things really got intense. In the end, I did not have an O; ejaculatory or otherwise, although there was the temptation to push over the edge. Instead I just kept working with the protocol as far as I could and broke back to just breathing (increasingly deep) and KS - with self-increasing intensity. At one point I felt that I was close to some kind of 'breaking through'. The KS went up a good octave! The other physical manifestation (apart from some really intense pleasant feelings - or is that a spiritual manifestation?) was some serious 'contractions' for want of a better word. It felt semi-concious, like I could have broken out of it if I had wanted to (ha!). These were centered in my abs. I finally came down for the night at about 2am.

I was pleased with the session - not least of which that I had felt the 'ejaculation compulsion' come up, and had just stuck with the program. I had thought that this would make it difficult to sleep afterwards, however I seemed to come down naturally from the high.

Part of my question in this is that I have obviously managed to increase my level of sustained arousal far beyond what I ever previously thought possible (oh yes). I am continuing with the practice happily. It is making me wonder what an orgasm actually is. I know what an ejaculatory orgasm is, but these intensely pleasurable feelings have not become an O (yet). I just wonder what comes next. Just enjoying the scenery and the journey. Immensely.

An aside. Emotionally I feel I am clearing out one hell of a lot at the moment. It is a subtle process but when I stop for a moment, the life and self-affirming state of mind and feeling of intensity is quite fantastic. Synchronicity is everything. My relationship with my wife and children are all characterised by an intense simplicity and pleasure at the moment. It is a wonderful time.

Peace

Bhikku

Day 46:
Quiet and relaxed day.

Day 47:
Before practicing this evening I enjoyed breathing a few KS outside in the cold air. After what *that* stirred up I expected that quite a session would unfold. Expectations again. Yes, a lot moving, but keep breathing and watching and feeling and learning.

Feels damn good though! Only problem was my space in the basement was friggin' cold. Far more comfortable practicing in warmer space, but tonight that was occupied.

Bhikku

Day 48-57: I seem to have been out of circulation for 10 days. Yowtch.

Busy with work, lots of changes that started a while ago coming to fruition right now. Basically time for a breather. Last week my energy just slumped, so I did not push it. Took me until this morning to catch up again on much-needed sleep.

Practice has been attempted, but the energy seems to have been an issue and so I have not pushed it. Coming back to it again this evening - some movement, but at the v. subtle end of the spectrum. Good timing though that Jack just posted those audio snippets. Will be listening to those right now.

Getting on down dude (just watched 'finding nemo' - a hoot!).

Bhikku

Day58-68:
Amazing how quickly another 10 days passes.

I realized that the daily journalling was in some ways holding me back. Wierd - but I think spending too much time trying to conceptualize what has been going on got me stuck in a rut.

Anyhow - a conversation with Jack over the phone last week helped put a lot into perspective, and gave me renewed confidence with the protocol.

Two things; one - a bit of an emotional hairball for me around virtual celebacy since the kids have been around. I know that this is a common one, but after the chat with Jack and deciding to do something positive around this, my wife and I had a very good talk around the issues. Key point - no need to be a victim of it. There is positive movement and I know that this issue will resolve for me. It ain't the issue - it is the attitude. From that - create the world. (ahem - off the pulpit...)

Secondly: Breathing deeply. When I worked the vocalisation through with Jack, my first attempts were high in my throat. It reminded me of some singing exercises from way back when I was learning to sing. I still use them when I need my voice to last more than 5 minutes. The basic movement is to stretch the throat. Angle the head up slightly and open your mouth so that it is as *deep* as possible. Then very gently breathe out and see if you can get your vocal chords to gently 'click'. Every time I do this, I also want to yawn - it is the same movement.

Once I have relaxed like this, it seems far easier to vocalise deeply; driven from my belly. With that, the KS seems to 'open a channel' right down into my abdomen. With that type of vocalisation, the echoes have been very significant.

Meanwhile - onwards.

Cheers
Bhikku

Hey Bhikku,
Thanks very much for this very insightful post!

On 12/5/03 1:44:00 AM, bhikku wrote:
>Day58-68:
>Amazing how quickly another 10
>days passes.

:-)

>
>I realized that the daily
>journalling was in some ways
>holding me back. Weird - but I
>think spending too much time
>trying to conceptualize what
>has been going on got me stuck
>in a rut.

WOW! I think that is a VERY significant insight!

That really rings true to me. It's as if having to make your daily report, and if no good news, a kind of sense of "failure" or at least a certain disappointment.

I think you've really discovered something very important to all who practice this method.
>
>Anyhow - a conversation with
>Jack over the phone last week
>helped put a lot into
>perspective, and gave me
>renewed confidence with the
>protocol.

Great! Very good work, B.
>
>Two things; one - a bit of an
>emotional hairball for me
>around virtual celibacy since
>the kids have been around.

Hmm, "virtual celibacy" is an interesting way to frame this challenge.

Just know that you are NOT alone here! Especially bilko and Andi, as well as several of the other regulars here, are faced with this same challenge of providing quality care to their children, yet claiming some true privacy for themselves, both individually and with their partner.

I really appreciate your making posts about this particular challenge, and I welcome you to continue to share any insights or tips you may have in this regard.

I also want to ask those of you who read this and who still have children at home to also share YOUR experience in how you negotiate for the time and private space you need, not just to practice KSMO, but to just be able to have time for yourself to recharge, rejuvenate, and "re-create".

>I
>know that this is a common
>one,

Yes and a VERY important issue that merits further discussion and mutual support!

> but after the chat with
>Jack and deciding to do
>something positive around
>this, my wife and I had a very
>good talk around the issues.

That is GREAT NEWS!!!

Congratulations to BOTH of you.

I am SO pleased to hear that you are using this practice to further open communication about intimate issues with your partner.

I think that is one of the greatest benefits of this practice.

>Key point - no need to be a
>victim of it.

That is definitely a very important insight and shift! Good work, brother!

>There is
>positive movement and I know
>that this issue will resolve
>for me. It ain't the issue -
>it is the attitude.

:-) Good one!

>From that
>- create the world. (ahem -
>off the pulpit...)

Way to preach and teach!

>Secondly: Breathing deeply.

Yes! But READERS PLEASE TAKE NOTE: It's important to learn to breathe deeply in a relaxed way.

It's counterproductive if you become so concerned about getting "really" deep breathing that you are actually forcing or straining to get that "ideal" deep breath.

Very important: None of the activities recommended in this Protocol involve forcing anything, be that deep breathing, the Key Sound, etc.

>When I worked the vocalisation
>through with Jack, my first
>attempts were high in my
>throat.

Readers please note: This tendency to allow the Key Sound to drift into an "ahhh" sound is VERY COMMON.

When you are making an "ahhh" sound, there is quite a bit of tension in the throat, thus the energy tends to get blocked there.

When you make the Key Sound correctly as demo'd in the audio seminar, you may notice a certain vibration down in your chest, and even lower.

I recommend that you frequently RE-LISTEN to the KS demos in the audio seminar.

For your convenience, I have extracted these KS samples. There are links to them on the main Downloads page.

Oh while I'm on the topic of the Downloads page, there is also a link at the top of that main page for an updated summary of the Protocol.

I strongly recommend that you download this document and study it carefully. Please feel free to let us know of any additional thoughts and insights that reading it may trigger.

>It reminded me of some
>singing exercises from way
>back when I was learning to
>sing. I still use them when I
>need my voice to last more
>than 5 minutes. The basic
>movement is to stretch the
>throat. Angle the head up
>slightly and open your mouth
>so that it is as *deep* as
>possible. Then very gently

Readers, notice B says "very gently". Otherwise, you may defeat the whole purpose of the exercise!

>breathe out and see if you can
>get your vocal chords to
>gently 'click'. Every time I
>do this, I also want to yawn -
>it is the same movement.

Hmm... that's an interesting one! Thanks for the tip.

>Once I have relaxed like this,
>it seems far easier to
>vocalize deeply; driven from
>my belly.

Sounds pretty good. My only hesitation was when you used the word "driven."

Again I want to caution readers not to interpret B's use of that word to mean, forced or pushed.

In fact, the more relaxed you can be as you make the sound, and provided you make the Key Sound as I demo in the audio seminar, then the stronger the effects.

> With that, the KS
>seems to 'open a channel'
>right down into my abdomen.

BINGO!!! That's a REALLY GOOD SIGN. It's my experience that that is exactly the function of that deeply resonating Key Sound... to OPEN that energy "channel" that seems to run the length of your body.

As these waves develop, that "Cosmic Circuit" or cycle that tantrics talk about begins to occur... that is a seeming movement of this increasingly potent Echo Effect waves of pleasure moving up and then back down your body.

Don't worry if you don't notice that happening. Don't try to "make it" happen.

But it IS something to become aware of, and can serve as a marker that you are establishing that multi-orgasmic resonance with your body's AUTOMATIC pleasure responses (i.e., the Echo Effects).

>With that type of
>vocalisation, the echoes have
>been very significant.

GREAT NEWS!

READERS: The most important thing is that overall you are feeling new feelings.

Even well before experiencing full on multiple orgasms, it's very important to recognize that in MOST instances, men and women who practice this protocol begin experiencing NEW LEVELS OF PLEASURE that are different and more enjoyable than what they experienced prior to beginning the practice.

Take the time to appreciate the new feelings all along the way.

It's a real tragedy when someone slips into saying "yes but it's not a full orgasm" implying that all of these new feelings aren't worth anything at all since they're not (yet) the "Big Ones".

Bhikku is demonstrating the balanced attitude that offers the greatest chance of continuing success and further opening.

>
>Meanwhile - onwards.
>
>Cheers
> Bhikku

Good on ya mate! And thank you so much for documenting your progress, and taking full advantage of all of the resources at the site (including one-to-one consultation with me when need be).

I look forward to reading your next report, whenever you feel moved to post it. By that I mean I'm not expecting those "daily reports." :-)

Again congratulations to you and your wife for continuing to open your communication about all of this. Way to go! Way to grow!

Wishing you the very best,
Jack