Hi,

Before I ask for advice I will quickly (hopefully!) fill in a little b/g about myself.

I joined way back in 2003. A month or two after I had experienced very pleasurable echo effects (tingles, waves, muscle shaking). I was very happy and pleased with myself However, when I practiced again the echo effects were less, weren't built upon and I lost my excitement for the practice. For the next 2 or so years my practiced was 'simplified' as I sorted through a few sexual issues with a counsellor.

The next two years were complicated by the long illness of my father, his death, my grief and depression. However, during this time very difficult time I learnt more and more to be able to enjoy "simple" sex with my girlfriend - by this I mean enjoying ejaculating, lessening the "pressure" of performance I had experienced earlier and simply enjoying being naked with my girlfriend.

Two weeks ago I had been doing some body relaxation exercises, and after completion I thought "Wouldn't it be nice to spend some time with me? Exploring my body and just being with myself." So I did, and I included some KS. Now I only did this for about 10 minutes, but the response was wonderful! Tingles and sensations throughout my body. At last it thought - after 4 years I am excited about my practice again!

Today I decided to once again spend some time with myself - but shortly after beginning I received a block, a thought that went something like this: "Sex is always haunted by the idea/feeling that it is work for me. When will I come? Am I doing this right? I feel jealous of the female sexual role which I perceive to be void of these concerns. Instead I perceive the female sexual role to be accepting whatever happens and therefore enjoying the feelings moment to moment without pressure".

So I followed Jack's advice, stopped the practice and as ashamed as I am of my thoughts wrote this post to seek advice of the forum as to how best deal with this "mind noise". I am quite aware though that these are 'intrusive thoughts' will appear again, but I would like to hear how people deal with them in their own practice? Is it best to stop, breathe, take some time, relax and keep going? My fear is that if I were to stop the practice everytime I have some "mind noise" I will give greater strength to these thoughts and lose the excitement to practice KS that took me so long to regain. Rather I feel I need to learn to recognise these thoughts as just that - thoughts - and learn to live with them.

I would also like to hear from any females about pressure that they experience in sex. While we all have our good days (even me!) where sex and pressure seem so distant from one another, I believe that it is more a perception I have acquired. I hope that it will help me expand my perception to hear of female sexual pressure and realise that not every one is rolling around in bliss 24/7!

Thanks,
Mariachi

I don't think stopping practice will really do anything to combat mind-noise, but rather like you said would give it more power. I've been battling mind-noise for a few months (and I know Jack would probably point out my use of the word battling :P), so I know where you are coming from. Though mine usually consist of: "Am I doing things right? When am I going to cross the finish line? Should I do this or should I do that? Don't lose focus.. don't lose focus... crap I lost focus!" and generally annoying stuff like that.

I am still stuggling with mind-noise myself, but I have learned a few things that seem to lessen it a bit.

1. Stop worrying about getting to the good part, if you are feeling any pleasure at all, that is the good part. I've noticed the more I focus on reaching orgasm or whatnot, the harder it seems to be. However, the more I just enjoy what I am feeling, the easier it seems to raise in intensity. When I'm not worrying about getting somewhere, I generally don't have thoughts pestering me about it.

2. Another thing I do is remind myself that I am no more different than anyone else, I am capable of reaching the same heights as everyone else, so there is no reason to worry about the details.

3. Probably the most important thing to remember, which I've learned the hard way, is don't give your mind-noise any power. It is just doubt trying to bring you down, instead try to counter these doubts with positive thoughts like "this feels good, I know I can do this, I'm doing everything right". There are various ways to get these positive thoughts, one way is getting your keysound validated, one less thing to worry about.

Things will be fine, just enjoy the ride for what it is and not what it could be.