I’ve never posted here before, and I think I’ve been reluctant, because I don’t have a huge or outright ‘success story’ to post, but I’ve been working on and off with the KSMO method since the winter of 2004. I discovered Jack’s website via one of Pan’s great posts about Amygdala clicking…I think it was some forum set up with a post area for some other things I’m involved in (Qigong and meditation).

I ordered the CD and started to try and make the key sound, understanding it more as a release to avoid ejaculation, so I was using it more as a vent during normal stimulation, which didn’t work very well. I had a coaching session with Jack at some point to talk about my KS technique, which was helpful and reassuring.

Although I’ve yet to experience full MMO, I’ve noticed some very interesting things, most of them subtle, and I’ve been reminded of experiences I’ve had in the past (long before KSMO) that I’ve looked at in a new light. I had an experience several years ago with a girlfriend at the time, for whom I had become quite hot about on many levels, many of them more emotional/sensual. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a very healthy relationship, but the level of erotic ‘fantasy’ that was acted out in my relations with her (mostly ‘foreplay’, but still highly sexual) was extremely intense. One day we went to our usual place for these exchanges and sat on the floor talking to one another, when she touched me—I don’t even think in any blatantly sexual area of my body—I just came. I’m also 80% sure that it was non-ejaculatory, as I remember being relieved, since I was fully clothed at the time.

There was another time when I was sitting in meditation (I use Holosync CDs and have done for 7 years now) where I sometimes get into erotic imagery or fantasy. I was ‘stoking’ myself mentally, remaining absolutely still and with no physical stimulation, but I got myself to the point where the mental imagery was pushing me to the ‘edge’ where I wondered if I couldn’t make something happen without touching myself in any way. I assumed it was possible, since one can have wet dreams with no physical stimulation. I was not able to bring myself to orgasm, but this also got me thinking. That was also before I knew about Jack’s method.

Since working with the KSMO method, sometimes more diligently than others, I’ve experienced some emotional highs and extrapolations of feelings that were in a sense not completely ‘new’ to me, as I’ve always been a very highly charged person erotically speaking, even since I was 4 or 5 years old (not directly sexual at that time, just erotic) and that energy has always been there, but I’ve never been able to allow it to flower as Jack’s method suggests. I think that part of the reason it’s taking me so long was an over-eagerness from thinking ‘this is the greatest thing and THE answer for me…I MUST be successful at it!’ I suppose this kind of thinking is less than conducive to letting go and letting it happen. Secondly, I think I’ve always expected the key sound to start something outside myself that I wouldn’t have if I didn’t use the key sound. What I’ve been starting to realize lately is that this ability is already there in me, and that the key sound is just ‘pointing’ to it in a way.

I started to realize this several weeks ago when I was laying in bed. I wasn’t using any key sound or movements…just lying there and focusing on my belly and lower area and some energy that was there. I focused on it for a while and it seemed to grow and grow. It seemed sexual/sensual/erotic and it also seemed like, if I could keep stoking it with my attention, it would grow into something the likes of MMO. However, it started to fade (or maybe I was just tired) and I couldn’t make it come back. I’d almost forgotten about this over the past month or so until I came back and started reading on the forum again. (I love the new format by the way…it looks exquisitely sensuous).

I notice that many of the posts and comments (some of which I’ve already read several times) have new meaning for me. I also notice that my energy of late has been up after a real lull earlier this fall. I notice that, when my general life energy is low or taxed, or when I’m feeling not so hot (in a very general way) then I can’t do much with KSMO, as I just don’t have the discipline. However, lately things have felt different, and I’ve been more interested in what I may have learned during my periods of non-practice. I think one of the most important things is that realization that this is not something outside myself I’m introducing, but just a different way of interacting with how I am anyway and always have been. This is quintessential I think, and although Jack and many others have said just that, and I’ve read it, you have to realize that, which is a different beast altogether than just knowing something theoretically.

On recommendation, I’ve also bought the Chi Machine and will see if that helps to loosen up the channels a bit. I believe it was greyx who recently touched on something else I’ve done from time to time and found helpful (when my general life energy is high enough to support it), which is ‘fasting’ from stimulation of the traditional sort altogether for extended periods. This, I think, allows energy to build rather than dissipating it.

Thanks as well to Jack, mog and laly for all the wonderful posts and tips, and especially to Pan, who is the reason I came to get into KSMO in the first place. Funny thing about that amygdale post…I wrote Neil Slade and told him about KSMO and Pan’s/Jack’s info in regard to clicking forward to suggest he and Jack should get together and brainstorm, maybe even put out some materials together. He wrote me back and replied ‘I’m not a sex therapist.’ I still have to laugh at that!

hello roderick,
my name is angus and ive been oot and aboot for awhile here in canada. your post inspired me to reply, i liked the simplicity and focus of your comments. may i say i understand fully where you are at in your practise, and how at times i even find myself there, after 4 or so years of exploration. i like the technique of focusing on the 'kundalini' energy in the lower abdominal area, and allowing it just to be. at times i can sense the 'space' it resides in, not so much on a physical level but a metaphysical one. i like to let it move and meander as it will and i find that relaxing any tension or contractions can often whip it up a bit. i am quite a tight person; by that i mean that i naturally suffer from muscle tension and spasms so it is refreshing to me to be able to breathe through that and find some erotic relaxation. i can always intensify my echoes by allowing them to contract and stimulate my senses but i sense that this technique of total relaxation is extremely beniticial to overall learning of ksmo. is there not afterall, enough tension in the world?! lol.
i too have a chi machine and have found it great for 'moving' my energy aboot. ( dont tell anyone but try it naked! oh and that can be a bit stimulating...lol) the cool off from the chi machine is very important as to find that quiet space again.
although i have yet to have a full peak experience, i find my erotic energy increasing and moving into other levels of self. i have become aware of my 'vibrations', as well as the frequencies around me. how exciting! have fun.
cheers angus

Thanks for your comments, Angus. Is that what kundalini is? I’ve heard it talked about many times, but I don’t know if I’d know it from any other type of energy. I always think things like that are rather subjective and difficult to describe even to myself from one moment to the next, let alone to someone else. Is kundalini related to sexual energy?

I also find the chi machine somewhat stimulating and relaxing. It sometimes feels rather like when you’re getting a massage…there are certain massage techniques that involve taking your arm or leg and shaking it to encourage you to let it go and just hang there, thus giving up all resistance or tension. It is very stimulating and enjoyable. I’m still getting used to how to lay on that little round mat however, and keep my ankles from getting sore as they’re jostled around in those little grooves.

I also find it useful to visualize that energy in my abdominal area either visually or more or less kinesthetically in order to ‘follow’ it for a while and see if I can allow it to grow or expand. Sometimes I get nice little buzz effects. I’ve been working with just focusing on it lately rather than doing the key sound. I’m not always in the mood to try the sound, so I just imagine making the sound then. Sometimes that brings on some effects. There are times when the feelings are so incredibly subtle that the sound or any overt movement or action seems to distract from them rather than incite them further. It’s always different though. I have to find a really comfortable position…greyx has made me wish I owned a Lazy Boy, but unfortunately I don’t have room for one. I have a nice couch though and some other chairs. I’m sure I’ll work something out.

hi roderick,
from what i understand, kundalini is latent spiritual energy that resides dormant at the base of the spine until the 'awakening'. i believe any lifechanging experience, pleasant or unpleasant can initiate the stirring of this energy. it seems to culminate in spiritual physical sexual and mindal bliss when it finally traverses all of the chakras, completing the circuit that expands the persons conciousness. your work with the key sound/sexual energy is truly a path that leads to that opening. for myself, a traumatic, intense, life event over 20 years ago initiated my kundalini, and fortunately, i was able to work through the situation and redirect the path towards healing and fulfillment. ksmo and other tools were indispensible aids to this work. and so by working WITH the energy, one can find bliss and liberation, no matter where one started.

ah, the chi machine, what would i do without it? lol. it sure shakes my energy aboot, almost like a daily recharge and cleanse. stale energy oot, fresh energy in.....

interestingly, i can also relate to your visualization ability. i too often think the key sound and have good luck with that; sometimes saying it is too intense for me. and for some reason at times, i seem to do it better in my head than with my voice! my key sound has never really been consistent, yet to be fully understood.
and as for comfort, sitting up is often good for me. laying down seems to constrict my vocalization a bit.
so once again, thanks for chatting, i wish you all the best in your practise!
cheers angus

Yes, laying down constricts my vocalization to the point where I can't make the sound in a relaxed way at all. It feels like my whole chest is lying back across my lungs and constricting all the way up into my throat. All I could do would be to force it, and that's no longer on target. I usually sit cross legged or on the couch, but upright, and hunch a bit so that I'm totally relaxed. I sway back and forth a bit to find my optimal relaxation point, then I tilt my head back a bit, pull in the stomach just a little bit as I inhale (like in Qigong breathing) and then let it out a bit on my exhale. That seems to make it more accurate and more relaxed, while very vibratory throughout my chest.

I go through phases, like lately, where the visualization and just "watching" my abdominal energy is more effective than making the sound. I've been playing lately with the idea that (and this is just a sort of psychological approach) there's ALWAYS an orgasm going on down there, like a party that never stops, and that it’s just a matter of how aware I am of that and how much I can experience it. This seems to take away the urge to try and make something happen. I simply operate under the assumption that it’s already happening and that I’m just seeing to what point I can observe it. That seems to make it more relaxed and curious in any case. Thanks again for your reply.

I agree -- force should not be in any part of the practice at all. I have had some of my best orgasms while sitting in a chair --just like you mention ...swaying a bit -- humming the ks in my chest- not really vocalizing it...at my stage I find I do not really need to make the key sound.

Sweet -- i like that idea. Keep up that great attitude .

and you are very welcome...

Cheers

__________________
With Love, Light and with a Joyously singing heart,
Laly
Old forum threads of mine :
http://tiny.cc/KOx0x - shy newbie
http://tiny.cc/mt9sd - letting go of anger
http://tiny.cc/wR7Hb - multiple orgasm success-insight

I read this in a book today "You never know how much courage you have until you face your greatest fears head on".