I haven't posted anything in a while: nothing sensational to report, and I've been pretty busy elsewhere - I'm lucky in having a rich 'other' life: music and family, etc. Nevertheless I'm endeavouring to keep the show on the road after a fairly devastating set-back which rather knocked me off my perch a while back.

Things had been OK: enjoying regular practice, with a good satisfying level of sustained, sometimes quite powerful, echoes. No peaks yet, but still quite happy basking in the shallows, with a sense that things would develop in their own sweet time. So it was fairly lowering to have it made clear to me that 'thirteen months does seem to be a rather long time to wait' for top-grade KSMO events. Even more so when that reckoning was followed by the glad news that it's possible to achieve 20-30 such events each day.

Not for the first time I can't help feeling that all those radiant, euphoric testimonies of the Adepts, while they can send encouraging signals from the other side, can also crush the spirit when the journey turns out to be a long one. Their message is in fact the most clamorous, deafening mind-noise of all.

'Keep the faith'. Was it the words of Drew (Gandolph), way back, that have brought back me on track? Also touching base with Zeit not long ago.

So what to do? Profer the empty cup. Live in the moment. I find that using some of my audio stuff blanks out, 'jams' the mind-noise helpfully. Keeps at bay the thoughts that, maybe, some of us ARE physiologically different, less 'talented' orgasmically than others? Or that I am getting no more than I deserve, etc. Blah, blah.... Once it starts it's like weeds.

So I tend my little flame - I'm a stubborn bastard; and it continues to reward me loyally each time in its quiet way.

TANTROS

P.S.

I feel I want to massage this message just a bit: it came out pretty negative - which is unfair to everybody, especially when I have had so much good out of the whole experience. With a whole lot of help from people along the way - Adepts, included!

I am back on track. And I have just been greatly heartened by looking back at veteran Drew's posts. His message of 20th March 2002, five years in and reporting for duty: and Wham!! - grinning from ear to ear (choked me up a bit) - says it all.

So, apologies for whining: I wouldn't want to excommunicate myself.

TANTROS

No worries on that Tanros- totally understand what you mean.

As for fellow KSMO member Drew- yeah I have and still do go back to his early posts (even tho there is gender difference) pretty much what he describes i think we all can relate to. I've shed many tears reading posts here.

Laly

Sweetheart, thanks so much for that! Onward and up...

I wanted to bring that post of Drew's right on to the front page: it really gets things in proportion: can't be anything but hugely encouraging to folks like me who are taking their time.

Take care, Laly, and bless you.

TANTROS

"Sweetheart, thanks so much for that! Onward and up..."

You are very welcome Tantros!

"I wanted to bring that post of Drew's right on to the front page: it really gets things in proportion: can't be anything but hugely encouraging to folks like me who are taking their time."

Yeah- there are MANY posts that adpets or veterens have posted that are gold mines and SHOULD be acknowledged and briught forth for everyone to relfect upon and I agree on how it impacts those who are ; how shall i say this-- who take the time and really look at every aspect of thier KSMO/MMO journey. While i was on hiatus with my practice I spent many hours reflecting and thinking about a lot of my successes and wondered if I moved too fast in certain aspects , in the fact i didnt know how to integrate those new sensations a feelings KSMO awakened within me- It wasn't til I started counseling and got some adivce and tips on how to do just that.

Like KSMO - counseling is delving into un-chartered areas that have me literally afraid to go to see the counselor- afraid to delve into those un-lit areas (as drew calls them) and shine the light and see what's there.

"Take care, Laly, and bless you."

Tears up= you too Tantros

Laly

Hi Laly,

Sorry about late reply: I've been away from the machine for a while.

<Yeah- there are MANY posts that adepts or veterans have posted that are gold mines and SHOULD be acknowledged and brought forth for everyone to reflect upon and I agree on how it impacts those who are - how shall I say this-- who take the time and really look at every aspect of their KSMO/MMO journey.>

It would be good if there was some kind of 'digest' containing the whole gamut of testimony, reflecting the endlessly wide range of experience we've all gone through. Obviously the all-star rip-roaring stuff should be front of stage: it indicates what may be in store - sooner or later. (It's also good PR). But for a lot of us, who don't manage to just slip in through the Gates pronto, it would be encouraging to be reminded of the example of someone like Drew (and there are plenty of others), who remained sanguine, even over years. His practice, and his message of 24th March 2002, are exemplary, should be written up in gold. It's certainly helped me to get back on track.

Any newbies reading this should know that, however long it takes, it's rich and exciting and boundlessly rewarding in every way, not just sexual. Keep at it! Sometimes it's nice to take things slow.

<While I was on hiatus with my practice I spent many hours reflecting and thinking about a lot of my successes and wondered if I moved too fast in certain aspects , in the fact I didn't know how to integrate those new sensations and feelings KSMO awakened within me- It wasn't till I started counseling and got some adivce and tips on how to do just that.>

Integration seems to be pretty crucial. Not just integrating all these life-changing discoveries about oneself into the person one has been inhabiting all these years; but also into 'real life', the day-to-day, fitting it in.

<Like KSMO - counseling is delving into un-chartered areas that have me literally afraid to go to see the counselor- afraid to delve into those un-lit areas (as drew calls them) and shine the light and see what's there.>

Much better that than to block up the cave with a stone. You've got a lot of people who wish you well, as well as those who are holding your hand. You always strike me as a person imbued with light - that must mean something.

TANTROS