I think I've hit another threshold...

Today at about midday, I had a KS practice session. About 20 minutes after this practice I received a phonecall from a good friend, who, during the call, made a rather sexy and flirty remark. Of course, I responded appropriately in a mature fashion >:-)

As she made it, I got a rush of a full body 'undercurrent' of echo effects as a sort of single field rather than one area or multiple points of feeling/arousal.

After the call, I became curious and breathed gently and deeply in a valley type fashion. It was like blowing on embers of a smouldering fire; The body-field intensified slightly, with waves running through me and local areas began to intensify. As I already had a full KS, I was wary about having another one so I decided not to do so. So ALL this afternoon and evening, I've had this low level set of waves and occasional ebbing and flowing of this echo-effect field with deeper hotspots brought about just by breathing. I'm quite cautious yet excited and aweful about this; I feel I've had a series of sub-orgasmic, multiple experiences.

If I breathe NOW, I can bring them back... at will.

My goodness... what will tomorrow bring?



That's all for now.


Z.

Well, 'now' is tomorrow.

I woke up at 4:00am with the usual erection and this time with waves and the low level echo-field running through me.

As I lay there, I wondered whether I would be 'stuck' in this state... My first indication of TERROR!

I rose, went to ablute then went back to sleep.

I woke at 08:30 and realised I had a lower level of all the waves and feelings all thorough me. Through the morning i realised that if my focus is external, the waves/feelings fall to almost zero.

This is a 'day off' from the protocol so I haven't increased any stimulation, yet it seemed that it would only take so little to... :-o


So this has been so far, a day teetering on the brink of....?

I feel like I'm sitting on a volcano with a crust covering so thin...

(emoting now...)



tbc

The Growing of oneself can take many forms...




I'm now acclimatising to this new level of energy, it feels less overwhelming than it did yesterday. I still have the 'background radiating' internal field yet feel more grounded after a walk and some tears. In 'there' - or should that be 'here'? - somewhere, I think was a furball containing some fear, melancholy and despondency, but also some joy, self-empathy and love at the same time.





I walk in unfamiliar places, amidst the shortening shadows of my self.

Z-

yeah I can totally relate to that regarding the furballs.

All i can offer you is a HUG and a small reassuring chat- patience and understanding of oneself.
It is a path that you are not walking alone on, but we here are here with you- in spirit and (on my part - cant speak for others) with great love and understanding.

HUGSS to you..

With Love, Light and from my Joyously singing heart,
Laly

Hi Laly

Now I know more of the internal landscape, I am now relaxed about what else may be ahead. I'm taking the journey at the optimum rate with no pressure on myself...

>snip<
yeah I can totally relate to that regarding the furballs.
>snip<

...it's certainly 'an experience'... not what one is used to! It was a good introduction for the likely high level states I'm yet to meet.

>snip<
All i can offer you is a HUG and a small reassuring chat- patience and understanding of oneself.
>snip<

That is all I need, and much more than I expected, Laly. I don't expect you or anyone else to know for sure, my internal state - or to be responsible for it. - That's a lesson I learnt some years ago for myself. So *thank you* for the appropriate level of empathy.
:-) :-)

>snip<
It is a path that you are not walking alone on, but we here are here with you- in spirit and (on my part - cant speak for others) with great love and understanding.
HUGSS to you..
>snip<

That is the beauty of the forum - for the level of support we give each other along this special journey... I realise I'm not alone; Some are ahead of me, some are yet to follow....

SPECIAL hugs from me to you Laly, you've been alongside me since the beginning and your posts have always been helpful and always struck the right note with me. :-D

Love an' respect!


'Z'

I seem to have entered a more settled phase. I had a strange couple of days with pent-up feelings that turned out to be a 'tankful' of seminal fluid 'requesting' to be released. One has to honour ALL parts of the body although not necessarily at the same time... ;-)

That was followed a day later by a KS session that was 'all-electric' in character, with zero feeling from the prostate/fluidic side. THAT felt 'different'.

On progress, I did notice that the Key Sound produced some fine variations in locations within my lower torso. I could almost sense the location with a visualisation of the resonant 'cavity's' position moving up/down, slightly forward and back alone a certain plane depending on the resonace produced with torso/stomach muscle positions.

One night I had a particular set of echo effects that incorporated my whole body, beyond pins-and-needles, quite sensual but close to the border of discomfort.

But none of these experiences occured simultaneously! It seems like I experience several different 'parts of a whole' at different times.

Today is a day off from the KS session. I made a set of initial Key Sounds and and realised that my body is not ready for a session so I stopped for now.

Of course, my practise is not in isolation from the rest of my life, I've spoken or at least hinted at some 'challenges' I'm facing right now and I'm sure that these challenges have effects at some level of being. :-( I approach my practice with meditation in mind which helps considerably, however, as I have human form, this means I have human responses at many levels. Like most things; 'These things will pass' I just wish they'd fucking HURRY UP!" :-I

One thing I had noticed which has unexpectedly helped my practice; I had been drinking coffee about four times a day. Not instant coffee but FRESH and STRONG. Freshly brewed Columbian Arabica, ground at the time from the beans. (Do YOU believe in synesthesia NOW?? :-). I decided to give up ALL caffeine for a weekend and discovered greater sensitivity toward my echo effects and the points of resonance of the key sound became better defined. In fact I still have not returned to coffee but may start to reintroduce it to see what effect this has. The waves or pulses I used to get all the time seemed to have reduced considerably too.

My final thoughts of the day return to Jack. I know I'm aiming for an experience where somedays I wonder how far I am away from the next set of experiences.

Hats off to Jack who came this way and onward without a compass so to speak, without knowing where or if he'd reach the destination. Full respect Jack!



'Z'

Crikey! nearly half a month since I last posted (excluding the odd chat)...

...so time to do so! I had a furball on a recent car journey a day or so ago. I was surprised by a play on the car radio of an obscure record which is *very* special to me. Thirty seconds in I found myself in loads of tears. All I know was the tears were for me...

What this meant for my KS practice was not only an increase in energy but also additional effects like vigourous shaking and my key sound sounded more like a growl, felt throughout my body with a timbre saturated in sexual energy. Plus high levels of sexual feelings throughout my torso and legs mainly, with a feeling similar to falling very slowly with the body and feet up in the air at an angle of about 30 degrees(???)a bit like an undertow in water.

I believe that the body learns how to propogate the sound through the body. I remember my first attempts at producing the key sound which sounded higher and more localised sound, over time the sound has deepened and the effects are felt more spread throughout my body. I didn't need to force anything, and I'm enjoying erections that are maintained naturally without 'reaching'. The sexual energy is at a high level and is of a much deeper quality of feeling.

Intuitively I suspect something's going to happen but what? who knows...

Hey zeit - Nice to hear from you again!

I love that line where you said: "All I know was the tears
were for me."

I think it's really great that you accept these rushes of
feeling as is, and are not trying to overthink them,
but instead to just feel them!

Who knows? Some of these tears may be from early, even pre-verbal
experiences.

I LOVE your increasing level of self-acceptance...

That will continue to serve you well as your practice continues
to unfold.

The presence of stronger and more varied Echo Effects confirms
your body's inner wisdom as it continues the emotional housecleaning
and clears the way for ever greater feelings of ecstasy!

I definitely relate to that growl.

Our culture often puts a lot of pressure on us to deny
our animal nature. I'm very glad to hear that
you are reclaiming yours - as that is where a lot of powerful ecstatic
energy dwells!

>I believe that the body learns how to propogate the sound through the body.

Very well said! I completely agree with that.

That is a primary function of the Key Sound - to gently
coax open those energy gateways that have been til now
locked up due to past injuries - physical and emotional.

Zeit, this is a huge leap forward for you!

You are developing an increasingly trusting relationship
with your body's innate wisdom for guiding you
through the further openings as your Adventure continues.

>Intuitively I suspect something's going to happen but what? who knows...

Something is already happening, my friend! :-)

RE: Who knows... your body's inner wisdom is guiding you
gently through the process of continuing to nudge open
those energy gateways, healing the pain that's been
locking them up til now.

Congratulations!

Wishing you ALL the very best that life has to offer.

Jack

You are quite welcome!

Your efforts and level of authentic self-examination
and sharing make it all worth while!

Very best wishes to you, Zed.
Jack

Hey Jack!

>Nice to hear from you again!

Its *very* mutual!

>... you accept these rushes of
>feeling as is, and are not trying to !
>overthink them but instead to just feel them!!


YES! Over the past few years, as part of my self-development, I stopped suppressing and holding back feelings, and any rationalising of emotions in the moment and allow myself to experience the natural cycle of the emotion - tears/feelings of sorrow, joy and more! It's great to let it *just happen* and not attribute any rhyme or reason *to* it.

I'm still learning and catching up about my (whole) self, reading books like The Relational Self by Steve Gilligan etc. I realised my emotional part was immature in many ways and this practice has turned out to be the kingpin/keystone by providing a vehicle and outcomes to be mature emotionally and part of that is my sexual maturity.

>Who knows? Some of these tears may be from early, even pre-verbal experiences

WHO KNOWS indeed Jack? ;-) I love this stuff! ...all the way down

>I LOVE your increasing level of self-acceptance

TY! One can do this 'thoughtfully' of course and the deeper self sometimes requires more prompting - as you continue:

>...your body's inner wisdom as it continues the emotional housecleaning
>and clears the way for ever greater feelings of ecstasy

>I definitely relate to that growl

That is GREAT feedback, and I get really *good* emotions from that! :-D

> I'm very glad to hear that you are reclaiming yours -
>as that is where a lot of powerful ecstatic energy dwells!

Crikey yes, as I contrast some of the sexual energy states I have reached, with conventional ejaculation practice

>...a primary function of the Key Sound (is) to gently
>coax open those energy gateways that have been til now
>locked up due to past injuries - physical and emotional.

This mirrors some of my own feelings in earlier posts. After a particular experience/furball, my body felt more 'unified' as a field/place, freer, like a knot or distortion had been removed/eased (tonally). I can relate to Acupuncture and TFT in particular on that point (!)

>Zeit, this is a huge leap forward for you!

YES! I believe so!


>>Intuitively I suspect something's going to happen but what? who knows

>Something is already happening, my friend! :-)
>RE: Who knows... your body's inner wisdom is guiding you
>gently through the process of continuing to nudge open
>those energy gateways, healing the pain that's been
>locking them up til now.


Who KNOWS! what will happen; and gently does it...

more as and when...and thanks for the GREAT feedback; it's the BEST!


'Z'

:-D