I qualify as a newbie, even though I've practiced off and on for about 2 years. I've read through the success stories, and many of the other posts, and realize this is a learnable skill, but I need some help.

While practicing the Key Sound and valley breathing, I do feel sensations around my penis and thighs, but they are very light, and when I find myself "pushing" to make the feelings more pronounced, I just stop. One of the issues for me is not feeling "aroused" until right before I ejaculate, and I think I expect the use of the Key Sound to provide that arousal.

I purchased the Aneros after reading the review, and hoped that this device would provide added arousal. While I am amazed at the science that has gone into the development of this amazing tool, even with it inserted, I still get to a plateau, and actually get annoyed after a while, so I end up masturbating, or just stopping altogether.

Thanks in advance for any help and direction you might be able to give me.

>While practicing the Key Sound
>and valley breathing, I do
>feel sensations around my
>penis and thighs, but they are
>very light, and when I find
>myself "pushing" to make the
>feelings more pronounced, I
>just stop.

Dear Mackled,

I am a newbie too (almost 1 year). It is amazing how subtle this process is. There are many ways (all the ways we have mastered) to miss the mark. Arousal - and trying to push it into being more. Of course this works - but it leads where we have already been.

I am finding that for me it makes a big difference how I am thinking about what is going on - like the thoughts I have are more important than anything that I am doing. There is always this tendency in my thoughts to have an objective - but the thing is - in this case I have not yet experienced the intended objective - so how could I even have a clear thought about it - the thought must be an illusion - or just a permutation of what I have already experienced. So for me - to relax my brain (I am currently feeling it helpful to lightly massage the back of my neck) - I can feel a sort of diffuse and light itch/tickle type sensation behind my ears (I also feel something similar in the lower area of my spine - small of the back - and more recently in my chest) - this sensation is pleasureable but also asking for some relief somehow - sort of like the feeling that makes you yawn and stretch when you wake up in the morning.

Rather than hoping for some sensation - I have been attempting to just notice what sensation I am feeling - these areas of itch/tickle seem to be my body telling me where it wants to relax a little more.

The whole key (as far as I can tell) is breathing. I have lately been lying on my left side - with some pillows between my legs (right leg closer to my chest and more bent - left leg more straight but still about 90 degrees) - my left arm up under the pillows under my head - and my right hand around my chest. Slightly towards lying on my stomach - but really on my side - does that make sense?) Breathing slowly - silently - lovingly - down through my body. Not even worrying about the keysound at first. Just from doing this - and letting gravity pull me into the bed - let go of all my muscles (as much as possible) - I start feeling very pleasurable feelings - which I am calling waves of echoes - it's like I never noticed how good it feels just to breathe.

The keysound can just come out of this breathing - very quiet at first (just natural extension of the quiet relaxed breathing) - then if it becomes something else - that is interesting and fun - but not my plan. My plan is just to relax and breathe.

With the aneros - this position is actually what they recommend - and it takes a while before it just feels comfortable - like your body needs a moment to get used to the idea. The pleasureable sensation (in my experience) is very subtle and impossible to force.

I have been using no genital stimulation at all - my right hand can caress my chest - my left hand can reach around my head - just holding myself - making love to myself - not just having sex with myself.

Arousal - the most tricky thing is relaxing into higher arousal - because my habit is to tense up and squeeze it into what I have always considered to be an orgasm - it is very tricky to reverse this behavior.

Another thing - I have been listening to Kelly Howell's "Sacred Ground " CD (part 4 called "deep resonance") in the morning when I wake up - sitting up in a meditation type posture - and getting some amazing waves of echoes.


One of the issues
>for me is not feeling
>"aroused" until right before I
>ejaculate, and I think I
>expect the use of the Key
>Sound to provide that arousal.

I know what you mean - I think this is a natural misunderstanding of what the keysound is. I think it is more helpful to allow the keysound to happen more naturally - and not to expect it to be providing any stimulation - but more a natural response from a more primal part of your organism. It's like you naturally respond to a pleasurable wave that exists in your body - you respond by stretching out and diving into the wave - and swimming along with it. And somehow by adding this dive at just the right place - you increase the wave a little bit - but it is more of a tangential feedback loop - than a technique for increasing arousal intensity.

>I purchased the Aneros after
>reading the review, and hoped
>that this device would provide
>added arousal. While I am
>amazed at the science that has
>gone into the development of
>this amazing tool, even with
>it inserted, I still get to a
>plateau, and actually get
>annoyed after a while, so I
>end up masturbating, or just
>stopping altogether.

I understand getting annoyed and impatient. If the aneros is annoying definitely take it out. It's easy to focus on what didn't happen - and get discouraged - but it is possible to focus on what felt good - and what continues to feel good.

And breathing and relaxing feel REAL GOOD. Of course we all want ecstasy too - but being discouraged and impatient is counter productive.

I took about two months off recently (my furballs were wreaking havoc) and just doing the Kelly Howell meditation and breathing and relaxing. About three weeks ago I just naturally did a little keysound (lying on my side) and really felt like it had changed for me - like it was coming from inside me - rather than me doing it. Also - I really noticed that the waves of echoes could increase as I felt my body relax more and more - which really seems to be the difference here. It seems to me like this process is the exact opposite of the old process. Like something you have to back into - or sink into - rather than something that you have to do.

Anyway - it's all still questions for me too (which happens to be the way I like it.)

Good good good good luck my friend.

breathe

enjoy gravity

smile at yourself

tell yourself something nice about yourself

expect the unexpected

enjoy

breathe

8?)

yomo

One of the issues
>for me is not feeling
>"aroused" until right before I
>ejaculate, and I think I
>expect the use of the Key
>Sound to provide that arousal.

I always think of two or more things just after I hit "post" - but gosh darn it people still like me...

8?)

The echoes are not necessarily sexual for me - and they can be in my head or my chest just as much as around my penis. I think our whole idea of what arousal feels like is very much more limited than the reality. There are millions of possible different types of sensations of pleasure. The thing is we tend to disregard them maybe because they are subtle. The trick is to notice them - and then they respond to being noticed by slowly unfolding (probably more slowly than we would like - cause we tend to appreciate immediate gratification).

Th other thing was - I have another way of describing the "diffuse itch/tickle" - it is sort of like the feeling of "getting a joke".

yomo

Thanks very much, yomo:

While I was reading your post, I was thinking how conditioned I am to "forcing" just about everything in my life, and what this practice means to me. I was able to practice again today, and made it a point to spend some time relaxing and just enjoying the experience, and not feeling like I was there to "do" something (that may sound funny, but I know what I mean

While beginning with valley breathing, and relaxing while laying on my side, I began to feel the buildup after about 20 minutes. I made my mind up to just relax into it, and guess what, my son came home unexpectedly, banging doors and startled me right out of my practice. I fell like a lead balloon.

The important thing was I felt the vibration as I was making the key sound, and I haven't really felt that before. I think a big issue for me is seperating my idea of sex with ejaculation from this practice, and learning how to approach it mentally.

[snip, with many thanks to Yomo
for his sage advice!]

Hi Mackled!

First, in your post you referred
to "before you ejaculate"...

If you are getting
anywhere near ejaculating,
you are probably using way too
much direct stimulation.

Please remember, that during
these 20 minute practice sessions,
I recommend that you use
only a single
touch or caress of an erotically
sensitive area (genitals, nipples,
etc.), followed by a gentle,
husky, UNforced Key Sound,
as I have demonstrated in both seminars.

You do NOT need to try to maintain
erection.

In fact, concentrating on that
may be counterproductive.

Likewise, I strongly recommend
that you not "finish off" with
ejaculation at the end of the
20 minute session.

You will be amazed at the Echo
Effects you may begin noticing,
even the day after practice
if you do this.

RE: ejaculation: I recommend that
you wait at least until the day
after practice of the Protocol
to do so.

Again,that gives this new multi-orgasmic
response the breathing room it needs
to awaken fully over time.

>The important thing was I felt
>the vibration as I was making
>the key sound, and I haven't
>really felt that before.

That is EXCELLENT news! It lets
you know that you ARE starting to
re-tune to this new multi-orgasmic
potential!

>I
>think a big issue for me is
>seperating my idea of sex with
>ejaculation from this
>practice,

Most Definitely!!!

I often say that the greatest
challenge in learning this lifelong
skill, is not between the legs -
it's between the ears... That is,
revising our attitudes and expectations,
and just staying open
to being VERY pleasantly surprised
when you do!

>and learning how to
>approach it mentally.

Just relax, be patient, and ALLOW
the responses to happen as they
will, without trying to chase
the orgasms, as we are ALL used
to, using our customary patterns
of stimulation to ejaculation.

Wishing you all the very best!
Jack