I am crying... This is some kind of Annunciation described here.

TANTROS

WOO-HOO!!! Way to go, Laly!!!

Laly, in February and early March, you really should find the nearest production of "The Vagina Monologues" and experience one of the most empowering shows ever made BY women FOR women!

You will laugh and cry... and cry ALL you want... You will be in a theatre/auditorium FULL of women (and sympathetic men) who will not judge your tears... You can openly cry and a stranger (!) will come up and give you a hug.

So much of a woman's life is centered around the vagina and "that area"... we are born through the vagina, we have our period there every month for about 40 years, we have sex there, are maybe abused there, and we give birth to the next generation there ... A major consciousness in our life revolves around that area and ALL that goes on down there... BUT! Remember, that it is YOURS and you can do whatever you want with it, whenever you want.

I'm not a therapist and I'm no Jack, but my prescription for you is an evening at The Vagina Monologues in the Spring... (You will even learn how to say "vagina". {:-)

CONGRATULATIONS!
Lava

Thank you Tantros and Lava ...

I read your wonderful posts today I was overcome with a great glow of energy and had a smile on my face and I thought "Oh, my KSMO family!!" and i started to weep.

As much progress and the the successes I'd since starting KSMO , the furball, foo dogs, terror at the gate feelings, even the mind noise I have had it all and even though I have worked through them , there are and will be more (i in my heart KNOW there will be).

When I read the chat transcript again, I couldn't help but go "WOW" when i got to that FIRST pleasurable manual release orgasm. I spent a restless nite just going over my past year with KSMO and all that I have expereinced - all that I have felt , the heartgasms, the struggle for that first amazing KS orgasm, then to have the wonderful and explosive multiple WITHOUT the need to do any stimulation at all. (this brief synopsis of this session can be found on the www.multiples.com site- as a woman's experience of KSMO multiple orgasms). I will be honest as say I have not had one session wuite like that since BUT I am not worried about that- every session, orgasm, every thing i've seen, felt and experienced are forever burned in my heart and mind and each on is sacred and loving in their own special way. *tears falls

So, thank you very much for everything and I will continue to post me experiences!!

With Love, Light and from my Joyously singing heart,
Laly

• Laly joins Jack for a discussion on counseling and resuming KSMO practice after a hiatus.
• Laly reports resuming her KSMO practice after a 10 month break to focus on counseling for emotional issues. She and Jack have a discussion about her furball issues and her decision to resume practice.
• Laly describes her KSMO sessions since resuming practice and reports a tremendous breakthrough in her practice. Jack congratulates her on her considerable progress to date.

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 18:00:39 2006

Jack> All set. Hello again! Shall we wait for a few? It'll gimme a chance to have a wee gnosh. Bizzy day. :-)
Laly> sure. I can wait.
Jack> Thanks!
Jack> That way the other folks won't miss our pearls! :-)
Laly> yeah. I agree.
Jack> Well shall we proceed?
Laly> sure
Jack> I believe _you_ have the Talking Stick. :-)
Laly> LOL-.
Laly> am grinning.
Jack> me2
Laly> where shall we start ??
Jack> That is up to you. What comes to mind or heart?
Laly> ok - as you well know
Laly> I've recently begun KSMO practice again after a 10 month break.
Jack> Yes.
Laly> I started last week with a few nights of just listening to the 20 min KS track.
Jack> Had you not listened in ten months?
Laly> no KS of my own , just listening and feeling for an Echos or
Laly> no
Laly> total celibacy
Jack> Ok, for this record, would pls say why you made that decision?
Jack> That's in case somebody reads this without having read your prior story.
Laly> in November of last year I started seeing a counselor.
Laly> and I made a decision at that time to hold off on active practice.
Jack> Why did that coincide with your pausing KSMO practice? (ALL questions are OPTIONALLY answered... as usual!)
Laly> in my heart- I felt like I needed to focus myself on the counseling.
Laly> I knew that it wasn;t going to be an easy road to follow.
Jack> Yeah, and I'll add that that makes now, and made then, total sense!
Jack> Because basically you had begun KSMO practice... how long before you took that ten month break?
Laly> about 4 or 5 months into KSMO
Laly> and was snagging fur-balls in practice even at that point.
Jack> Pls correct me if I am misremembering events, but as I recall, you started noticing emotion furballs coming up coincident with your KSMO practice.
Jack> Ah yes, we ARE on the same page about it then!
Laly> the fur-balls in a way were related to my rape and sexuality issues jack.
Jack> For a newbie reader, would you say in your own words what is meant by snagging furballs ?
Laly> furballs- for newbies
Laly> k- fur-balls by my definition are emotional issues that can occur
Laly> while practicing
Laly> my (favorite) one or example
Laly> is the fact that I am (at this time)
Laly> finding myself unable to touch myself intimately/
Jack> [let alone be touched by someone else, I presume]
Laly> that too- but not limited to intimate touch by strangers or even people I knew
Laly> I flinched whenever someone touched my shoulder
Laly> or would jump.
Laly> quite embarrassing to say the least.
Jack> Yeah...
Laly> I worked very hard on the 2nd part.
Laly> learned to not flinch
Laly> physically anyhow.
Jack> That's GREAT and re: embarrassing - being able to give THAT shame back to the perpetrators as well.
Laly> inside I still trembled.
Laly> trembled.
Jack> Not surprising in the least, considering what you've survived.
Jack> Thank you VERY much for sharing the painful memories once again now, so that others may take heart and learn.
Laly> they are no longer painful memories
Jack> That is WONDERFUL!!!
Laly> just ones I want to share in hopes of helping others.
Jack> That is a TREMENDOUSLY loving, generous, and courageous gift, Laly!
Laly> that rape is not JUST a physical abuse but an emotional devastation as well.
Jack> Most definitely.
Jack> And now, after ten months... with your counseling process continuing,
Jack> what prompted to you to resume KSMO practice?
Laly> as you know
Laly> once you awake Echo Effects
Laly> it is VERY hard to ignore or 'turn them off'.
Laly> even when on hiatus I still felt them
Jack> That might seem scary to some people. How did you handle that?
Laly> at first I didn't
Laly> I basically ignored them
Laly> well , imho
Laly> when I ignored them , they only seemed to intensify.
Jack> What changed and when, how?
Laly> what changed...*sighs and laughs
Laly> I went back
Laly> and did some intensive meditation
Laly> really reflected
Laly> on what it was the was bothering me
Jack> [very good for grounding energy!]
Laly> that ,
Laly> I took a very hard and deep look at myself
Laly> inside and around me.
Jack> What did you discover?
Laly> that I was hiding again *sighs.
Jack> hiding how?
Laly> afraid.
Jack> of what?
Jack> or?
Laly> hiding how- from my feelings
Laly> things that ** and I were discussing in our counseling.
Jack> Thank you.
Laly> how I needed to let go and give back the stuff my abuser should take on.
Jack> Absolutely, and to do so in a supportive safe environment!
Laly> yes, even so , was very hard
Laly> for me,
Jack> And for the record, you have had to travel a considerable distance for each meeting, to get the help you need and deserve.
Laly> yes
Jack> I hear you! After all, in the beginning, your counselor too was a stranger. You had to take a risk.
Laly> an hour and a half
Laly> to another state - to see her.
Jack> Has it been worth it?
Laly> oh yes , very much so.
Jack> Way to go.
Jack> Way to GROW...
Laly> I used to cringe and not want to go in- when we get there - to the counseling place
Jack> The ancients taught their young that fear is an arrow that points to unclaimed personal power.
Laly> cry even sometimes, before we get there.
Jack> Yeah those tears have been pounding on the door wanting out for a long time !
Jack> And considering what happened to you in the first (and the second) place, it's really great
Jack> that you took the time you needed to find a truly safe, supportive, and SKILLED person(s) to help you.
Laly> thanks.
Jack> For the readers I'd also like to say
Jack> that we consider the break you took from active practice to be as we say Right On Protocol - being the Multiple Orgasm Trigger Protocol we use in this practice.
Jack> If you agree, would you consider speaking to that idea a little?
Jack> How can stopping the KSMO practice be On Protocol ?
Laly> OH
Jack> :-)
Laly> had me confused there for a minute
Laly> thanks for the clarification.
Laly> stopping or a break from KSMO is on protocol
Laly> because it gives you and your body time to adjust to the feelings/sensations you are "awamening"
Laly> awakening
Jack> yeah, both. :-)
Laly> much like a newborn and seeing the world around him or her those first few years
Jack> I knew when I was first discovering how this practice affected us, that as we started to open to these deeper levels of pleasure, any unhealed emotional wounding was likely to resurface,
Laly> yeah - was getting to that
Jack> like they were energized by the positive energy being awakened through the practice and saying Heal Me Too!
Jack> Oh, 'scuse me, LOL. Yes, you do indeed still have the Talking Stick! Way to hang on to it! LOL!
Laly> is ok jack.
Jack> I know. And thanks! :-) Pls, continue at your own pace. :-)
Laly> and not everyone has the same furball issues
Jack> most definitely.
Jack> And everyone may be at different stages of healing vis a vis different emotional wounds.
Laly> there are some emotional issues that we term 'terror at the gates',
Jack> Whoa now that DOES sound scary !
Laly> yes it does...
Jack> Are you sure this practice is fun?
Laly> oh yes
Jack> [ I tend to agree. Pls continue :-) ]
Laly> and imho , quite addictive
Laly> both in the level of pleasure felt
Laly> and the immense energy released.
Jack> Yeah, well said. That resonates for me.
Laly> for me sex was equated , in my mind, to pain and anger
Laly> before KSMO
Laly> that is there was no pleasurable feelings
Laly> that I had to do it
Jack> When did you notice that pattern starting to change?
Laly> about 6 months into practice
Jack> What happened? ( all answers optional! )
Laly> I experienced my first set of multiple orgasms
Laly> without any stimulation at all
Jack> How did that affect the prior patterns you were experiencing?
Laly> I no longer felt that need or compulsive of HAVE to orgasm every nite in order to sleep
Laly> or to avoid the nightmare that plagued me for years since the rape.
Jack> Was that a sudden shift or a gradual one? It sounds wonderful!!!
Laly> gradual shift.
Laly> as is the pdf file
Laly> *in - this is not a race
Laly> to hurry yourself
Jack> Exactly. It's a very gentle awakening.
Laly> but to be gentle with yourself
Laly> allow yourself to explore
Jack> Or even re-awakening of cellular memory if you will.
Laly> yes.
Laly> I took the explore issue to not only mean
Laly> the sexual side of myself
Laly> I took it to mean - all of me
Laly> spiritually, emotionally
Laly> everything.
Jack> Good. You got the message.
Laly> and it has been QUITE a discovery .
Laly> a learning journey even,
Jack> I agree and believe that there are many many more pages to turn, many more gateways
Jack> in that journey, that adventure of the Self .
Laly> yes
Jack> I had a very strong suspicion that as people began gently awakening this deeper erotic
Jack> response, it would of course affect them emotionally - their heart - as well.
Laly> well - in my experience
Laly> it has
Jack> I knew then that as the pleasure started filling the Vessel that is their Emotional Self, those
Jack> old emotional wounds would float into awareness - seeking healing and resolution.
Laly> yes
Jack> That's why you got so much unequivocal support around here when you started considering getting the professional help you so well deserved.
Laly> and I felt that all the way to my heart too
Jack> To me, that was on Protocol. On Protocol is NOT pedal to the metal know matter how you're feeling.
Jack> Don't keep driving if the emotional oil light comes on !
Laly> yes.
Laly> when I started KSMO
Jack> Stop and get some professional help under the hood! :-)
Laly> I had NO expectations at all on what I wanted from it
Jack> That is a PERFECT way to begin!
Jack> The Empty Cup.
Jack> That first step can be a slippery one for many!
Jack> Especially will all of the Go For It! enculturation associated with sexual arousal and how to experience it.
Jack> will all = with all.
Laly> well I read the pdf file and remembered the one about mind traps
Jack> aka mind noise ... pls continue...
Laly> where IF you thought something may or may NOT or SHOULD happen
Laly> that this in fact may hamper progress
Laly> yeah re..min noise
Laly> *mind
Jack> Certainly, it seems that if someone is fretting so much about all of those concerns during practice,
Jack> then most of their blood in in the fretting part of their brain rather than somewhere else where it could be
Jack> feeding pleasure centers.
Jack> Call me a pragmatist.
Laly> not only during practice jack, but even before beginning practice
Jack> Most definitely! That's what I refer to as the Foo Dogs !
Laly> .
Jack> Definitely need a wiki page about Foo Dogs !
Jack> All of that howling going on in one's head when in fact what's
Laly> anyway- in the past week
Laly> I have had a total of 2 KSMO session
Jack> beginning to awaken throughout your body is pretty exciting, and as you've mentioned, can be
Laly> WITH KS 20 min
Jack> a little scary, like going over the top on a giant roller coaster.
Jack> Yes re: your current return to practice, pls continue.
Laly> and 3 trial runs last week with no ks at all
Laly> just to feel any echos
Laly> arise/awaken
Jack> Good idea!
Jack> I really like your intuition about how you're approaching this.
Laly> first one- I got trembles from my waist to my knees
Laly> (thanks - )
Laly> next one- trembles + shivering waves and goosebumps all over
Laly> last one- definite pleasure pooling
Laly> and a generous warmth feeling down below
Laly> ( still can t bring myself to say it)
Laly> am blushing
Jack> That's ok. YOU get to choose!!!
Laly> this week my first KS session
Laly> I got the hot and cold, bliss tears
Laly> and the gentle start to orgasm
Laly> but no big "O" at that time
Laly> which was cool- was NOT my ultimate goal.
Jack> GOOD!
Laly> Tues nite- the echos were really hyped
Laly> that is, really flowing through me
Laly> my shoulders ITCHED like mad - lol.
Jack> LOL. The different neural pathways seem to have their own way of handling this awakening energy. Doncha get some sense of a deeper and wise inner wisdom is guiding your reawakening in this way?
Laly> and the tingling was and had been going on all day
Laly> oh yes- very much so.
Jack> As in oy!
Laly> I had a smile PLASTERED on my face all day at work
Laly> knowing what was going on
Laly> and also knew that a session was in due order
Jack> Ding!
Laly> I didn't rush myself = ate , exercised
Laly> sat down ,
Laly> took 10-15 min to relax
Laly> breath
Laly> once I felt calm enough to begin
Jack> Very important to time it like that!
Laly> I played the 20 min KS
Laly> yes
Jack> [20 min KS from the second audio seminar Key Sound Training ]
Laly> I didn't always follow you in the KS
Laly> but sometime right after
Laly> like a tadem thing
Jack> That's fine! Use it however it works best for you!
Laly> and within 4-5 min I was
Laly> in orgasmic heaven
Laly> whimpering
Laly> bliss tears,
Laly> weeping
Laly> just wave after wave
Jack> [ I associate that bliss weeping as My Cup Runneth Over ]
Laly> at some point I could not feel my feet cept the pads
Laly> that were on the floor
Laly> I tipped my head back, hands on the arms of the chair
Laly> and let out a very rough moan
Laly> a "oooooo"
Laly> .
Jack> Because the spirit moved ye !
Laly> and when I did this I felt myself ascend about 3 levels higher on the orgasm plane
Laly> like an elevator that dinged the floor marked _ORGASMIC BLISS"
Jack> That really makes sense to me! Certain sounds - most especially the Key Sound - but also those spontaneous - highly charged sounds - really serve to AMPLIFY the arousal and MOVE IT THRU THE BODY.
Laly> uh huh.
Jack> They really seem to set up a positive feedback loop that allows the waves of feeling to become stronger and of greater variety as well.
Laly> and last nite - I will say was a crowning and a huge advancement for me
Jack> CONGRATULATIONS AND CONGRADUATIONS!
Jack> What happened?
Laly> last nite - I achieved my first manual stimulated pleasurable orgasm
Laly> no stress or frustration at all
Laly> just a OH WOW
Jack> Laly, WOW...
Laly> and yeah
Laly> I know - I was so happy
Jack> A Miracle . Way to GROW Girl!!!!
Laly> just to be able to touch myself there finally
Laly> and feel no shame/guilt
Laly> just felt natural
Jack> WOW...
Laly> I know - just talking and I my heart is pounding
Jack> Take your time... feel free to take a break or stop altogether - whenEVER... Because now YOU get to choose.
Jack> Laly your story and your actions are REALLY INSPIRING !!!
Laly> thanks
Jack> REALLY REALLY COURAGEOUS!!!
Jack> Question if I may...
Laly> sure.
Jack> Thanks! Just above, you said
Jack> "...my first manual stimulated pleasurable orgasm.
Jack> "
Jack> Since... ever? or ?
Laly> first ever- the key word jack "pleasureable".
Jack> Right! I thought so!
Jack> Pleasurable AND satisfying? Nourishing maybe?
Laly> yes to all.
Laly> *chuckling.
Jack> I think that's a big difference for a lot of people. Lotta lotta folks know how to experience some kind pleasure,
Jack> but as in your sitch until this past 18 mos or so, there may have been a kind of pleasure , but little or no satiety - often
Jack> more of an emptiness, sadness, etc.
Laly> yes- almost an unfilled something I couldn't put my finger on or name.
Laly> *finger
Jack> I REALLY WANT TO WISH YOU A VERY HAPPY RE-BIRTHDAY!!!
Laly> thanks
Laly> this week has been the best birthday gift I've ever had for myself.
Jack> You are very welcome. Also, if you don't mind, would you be willing to state your approximate age?
Jack> That is REALLY WONDERFUL LALY !!!!
Laly> on Monday- I'll be 36 .
Jack> You GO Girl !!!!!!!
Jack> May Life's Blessings Shower Upon You !
Laly> they already are jack, they already are .
Jack> I HEAR ya !!!
Jack> Your story tonight is a GREAT way to finish off our 2006 Year of Coaching and Discussion Chats !
Jack> WOW WOW WOW !!!
Laly> * smiles - is speechless,
Laly> am telling self NOT to cry
Laly> if I do won't stop.
Jack> Well Laly, with all my heart I can congratulate you - on very very many levels - for your courage, persistence, EMOTIONAL HONESTY - whew.
Laly> thanks.
Jack> May you have a Wonder Full holiday season !
Laly> you too
Laly> and to all of you I share a very heartful HUG
Jack> Thank you. And thank you for being such a generously giving member of our online community !
Laly> your welcome and I wouldn't have it any other way jack.
Jack> I HEAR THAT!!! Thanks Laly - Sweet Dreams!
Laly> sweet dreams Jack
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 20:00:52 2006