• Laly and drew join jack for a discussion on healing, the new Wiki, a Forum discussion, and finding private time for practice.
• Laly reports new progress in healing.
• Laly, Drew, and Jack discuss the new Wiki.
• Laly discusses a thread on Echo Effects in which she is participating in the Forum.
• Laly and Jack have a discussion on finding time for practice when others are sharing the living environment.

Session Start: Thu Oct 19 18:00:12 2006
Jack> Hi Laly!
Laly> hi jack
Laly> HUGSS
Jack> Same to you too!!!
Jack> Shall we wait a bit til folks arrive?
Laly> sure
Jack> k - brb
Laly> am sitting here dancing
Jack> :-)
Laly> hi drew- jack and I are waiting for more to show - welcome HUGSS.
Drew> OK
Jack> Hey Drew - brb - setting up the server that will support the wiki.
Drew> OK
Jack> I'm s/w hosting svc sys engineer... how 'bout we start at quarter-past unless someone shows b4... k?
Laly> fine with me
Jack> Or... as they say, feel free to talk among yourselves for a few. :-)
Laly> ok
Laly> am happy to report that have not had any anxiety/panic attacks
Laly> the past two weeks.
Laly> despite the stressful work load -
Jack> Wow - THERE'S some great feedback from your Healing Self!
Laly> did have a small crying bout-
Laly> bit because of rain - dreary day
Laly> more than anything.
Laly> *but - not bit
Jack> Yeah and prolly some emotional fatigue...
Laly> yeah...
Jack> and the inner-ji being used to INTEGRATE all of these changes...
Laly> being really short-staffed does tend to up the emotional peaks
Jack> oh yeah that would amplify...
Jack> How're YOU doing tonight Brother Drew?
Drew> I'm well thanks, Jack... Kinda 'multi-tasking' (as usual)
Jack> tell me about it... :-)
Laly>
Jack> I'm here now tho. Like the gurus say. :-)
Jack> Anybody like to discuss anything?
Jack> We don't HAVE to, you know. :-)
Drew> LMAO
Jack> ;-)
Laly> well I did that search on valley breathing
Jack> What did you find?
Laly> OMG
Drew> Are you going Whacky with the Wiki?
Laly> very informative
Drew> Are you Wiki-Whacky yet?
Laly> lmao
Jack> Wicky-WORKY-Whacky actually.
Laly> lol
Jack> Got the cute little tarball.gz sittin right here on my desktop
Jack> waiting for its nest to be ready.
Laly> kewl
Jack> Once the... "Virtualization Services Manager" checks all the configs etc., then
Jack> I can upload and unpack the tarball and see if I can be lucky enough that the autoinstall utility works. :-)
Laly> yea!!
Jack> I'm hoping to see a default home page here in a day or two I HOPE and
Jack> I HOPE Murphy didn't hear that!
Jack> y'all will be the first to know.
Laly> swweet
Jack> Yeah. In combo with as many of us as possible using the phrase-search tool to search on THEIR favorite subjects
Jack> and that will yield so great index lists. The gem parts of the various posts can then
Jack> be excerpted for posts and articles that people post to the wiki. Basically, if
Jack> you showed up now as a newbie and you could have that first wiki page tell you the most important stuff (and frankly, nothing else - but a way to get access more if wanted)
Laly> nice
Jack> and to find your way from there. I'm very excited about the new search tool because it will let us know what keywords our ACTUAL
Jack> site visitors are thinking of when they arrive here, so we can tell our stories with those POVs - Points of View - in mind.
Laly> uh huh..
Laly> much like I was just telling "hugh"
Jack> That is something I'd really like both of you to incubate and hopefully begin visualizing - a little sooner than you might expect, eh Drew?
Jack> yes pls continue.
Laly> in my post- regarding his first experience of what we call Echo Effects
Jack> Yeah That's a GREAT thread by the way!
Jack> With Hugh and Lava and you.
Laly> thanks
Laly> and then his bout with the terror at the gate
Laly> feelings
Jack> Yep. It's very cool how he's recognizing the road signs.
Jack> That's a good example of the all important self calibration pattern that is such a great cornerstone of learning the skill.
Jack> Creates a positive feedback loop.
Jack> Flywheel Effect.
Laly> uh huh
Jack> To be able to recognize the challenges like the terrors and the emotional furballs and yet have a CONTEXT for them that is fundamentally positive.
Laly> well he didn't really know what they were
Laly> what we gave voice to them as
Jack> yet knew enough to give voice
Laly> so I hopped in
Laly> yes he did
Jack> Yeah that was great. I think that thread deserves a lot more discussion by everyone willing to.
Laly> also he mentioned what a lot of members are concerned with and that being privacy for practice
Laly> finding that 20-30 min
Laly> of alone time
Jack> I think it's important that the adults in any family get to ask for quiet time even the whole place to themselves ( OMG!!! )
Jack> for... how much per MONTH?
Jack> That's my opinion. That's why even that 20 minutes 3 times per week (total: 1 hour per week - MAXIMUM)
Laly> uh huh
Jack> can start to shift family dynamics. I ALSO think
Jack> that the adults in a family could benefit immensely by having an agreement that what they do with that alone time is private.
Laly> uh huh= for me being single it never occurred what others need to do
Laly> regarding their practice
Jack> For families with children - it's VERY APPROPRIATE MODELLING for them to understand boundaries, including their own rights to a certain privacy.
Laly> am humbled and applaud them
Jack> Yeah I do too!
Jack> And am humbled too!
Laly>
Laly> I mean I can do a practice as much as I CHOOSE to
Laly> or my body allows
Laly> a thing drew umm calls freedom
Laly>
Jack> A lot of couples don't realize that not only is it appropriate to have time together apart from the kids - including having their home to themselves -
Jack> it can also be a great benefit to their relationship with each other
Laly> oh yes - I agree
Jack> to GIVE EACH OTHER THE GIFT of that private time.
Laly> it has greatly benefited my relationships to others
Jack> The degree to which that may seem like a tall order to an adult in a family is an index of the importance of their committing to improving their communication skills with each other,
Jack> in the service of getting their legitimate human needs met -( including for a little alone time.
Jack> imho.
Laly> well, I have felt that urge
Laly> to do a practice - but not at home when it occurs
Laly> and not sure how the other person feels
Laly> if I were to - umm .. how do I politely say this
Laly> am blushing 6 shades of red right now
Laly> if I were to go off and practice
Laly> any advice?
Jack> Do you mean when at someone else's?
Laly> yes
Jack> It would seem appropriate to me to have the place to yourself.
Jack> To negotiate for that.
Laly> sometimes I am
Jack> That's a good one to address with your counselor, by the way.
Jack> To get any help you need in learning to negotiate.
Laly> you know me jack- I am more concerned with how they feel
Jack> Like I said - that's good stuff for you to address with her. I think she may have heard something like that once-t or twice-t before.
Laly> k
Jack> Part of the counseling process is the catharsis - the tears, the rushes of joy, the down times and the up times,
Jack> part is intellectual understanding - information
Jack> part is social skills building - a cornerstone of which is negotiation from a position
Laly> uh huh- is also the energy that I pick up from within the house too
Jack> of being a rational and loving advocate on behalf of your own healthy needs.
Jack> yep.
Jack> For sure.
Laly> am aware of that kind of thing than ever before
Jack> cool!
Laly> and aware that I show that out to people too
Jack> How does that feel to you?
Laly> is great feeling
Jack> yeah!
Laly> but like you said have to be careful in sharing that kind of energy
Laly> without permission
Jack> Absolutely.
Jack> You know what without permission feels like.
Laly> yes I do
Laly> a violation that I don't wish for anyone to have to experience
Jack> Yeah.
Jack> Well...
Laly> the world would be soo much better when shown LOVE
Laly> not hate and violence
Jack> That's what we're here for. One interaction at a time.
Laly> yeah is about my bedtime
Laly> doing some traveling tomorrow
Laly>
Jack> There appears to be a strong correlation between repression of sexuality and violence.
Laly> uh huh.
Jack> Oh great! Have a good trip. Another Great Adventure, eh?
Laly> yeah
Jack> Good luck. Take care of yourself through it all. You are DOING GREAT!!!
Laly> will be
Laly> trying my hand at a new avenue- drawing
Laly> open that creativity
Jack> I hope some of it is free form :-)
Jack> yeah that's great!
Laly> well am gonna see if I can relay that dream out
Jack> Excellent!
Laly> on paper
Jack> GREAT Idea!
Jack> Ok Laly - Sweet Dreams...
Laly> u too jack HUGSS
Jack> Have a wonderful trip - bookend a go go Girl!
Laly> don't get too buried under the coding
Laly> under
Laly>
Jack> lol nope one chr at a time.
Laly>
Jack> Like eatin an elephant
Jack> a byte at a time.
Laly> lol -
Jack> Definitely time to go now, eh? LOL! :-)
Laly> all your effort is greatly appreciated
Jack> Take care Laly.
Laly> I will
Jack> Take care Drew!
Laly> nite drew
Laly> HUGSSSS
Drew> Night all!
Session Close: Thu Oct 19 19:13:25 2006