[QUOTE=rodney;1815]Gold Nugget - Male closeness - male intimacy - confronting envy of women's sexual capacity

I'm going to jump in here, as I've toyed in this area for many years. I think the "sexual capacity" issue is so heavily mystified. I've studied Wilhelm Reich, who studied the orgasm in great depth. I think that if you look at orgasm in terms of charging and dischanging, that multiple orgasms are sometimes overrated. I have watched many women coming up to orgasm, coming, then coming down. .. and after several years of this I tend to agree with Reich's observations.

First, a good orgasm is essentially like a seizure. Movement in the body becomes involuntary, and at the deepest level complete surrender can be achieved. Because of this aspect of surrender, Reich noticed, fear of orgasm is tied to fear of falling... and it is a little like falling, losing control, the finding the ground again. Many people, in opening up the body's armors, will have acute feelings of fear of heights and falling as they open their body.

Second, a good strong orgasm involves lots of energy going in, and a full discharge. Where multiple orgasms show up a lot of the time for women is in the area of not being able to tolerate the really huge bioenergetic charge throughout the body, having a smaller orgasm, and not fully experiencing release in the process (a good book that talks about charge and release cycles in orgasm and sex is "The Intimate Couple"--one of my favourite, very deep books).

I've observed a girl who had the most body rocking orgasms, she'd just be so.... totally.... sated... afterwords. She also usually couldn't come again for about three hours. Prolactin increases in the body at that point, and some scientists speculate that the amount of prolactin secreted is directly responsible and coorrelated to the strength and satisfaction of the orgasm.

I've seen women who, by comparison to that acute example, had very small orgasms but would have more of them. Some girls will even call little shudders orgasms. I guess they are -- frankly there's a distinction here that I could write waaay to much on, but I'll limit the scope of what I'm posting in the interest of (my) time. Girls with the little shudders are usually the easiest to get multiple orgasms with.

And most of the girls I've been with seem to fall somewhere in between. Sometimes they have a pretty good orgasm and sometimes they have a mediocre on... for the mediocre ones, the second one often has the body rockin' quality that they want and they'll naturally stop and go to sleep at that point.

I have seen a girl come and have really nice repeating seziure movements and total loss of control throughout the experience, but I also catch most people (including myself) locking into a primary position through the pulsations. Often girls will lock in the outward thrust hips position, but I've seen girls lock in the drawn in and arched back position whilest coming too. In a freed up body, again quoting Reich, there should be expansion and contraction at the point of orgasm.

So why does all this matter? Just throwing out the perspective that the mystification of the idea of multiple orgasms might be a little rampant in our world.

And having said all that, when I do orgasmic breathing I usually feel like I won the lottery. Every. Single. Time. [:-).

I would also say the character of the experience is more in the realm of duration than frequency (looong as opposed to multiple). Some people seek intensity.. I actually prefer intensity mixed with duration, and I do it often. But now we're getting into the question of how do you know something is really real to you.

On 5/18/02 1:14:00 PM, lionheart wrote:
>Rodney and Justin,
>
>I get the feeling from some of
>your posts and a few others on
>the board that there are men
>on this board who are really
>confronting envy of women.
>Observing the loving
>interactions of women, it can
>be easy to feel left out, part
>of the uncaring half of
>society.
>
>Perhaps the real issue is one
>of choice about how we are as
>men? I don't feel that men
>should behave like women.

Yea, I studied sociology for six years. The question is this: Which women? Which men? There are examples of Female slave traders and male weavers. Cowards, warriors, smart people, loving people, assholes, and everything in between in both groups.

My time is almost up here at the internet cafe' but I want to say this. One of the most freeing things in my life was giving up mysticism in all forms. Placing something outside one's understanding and making that into something different from life... but women in American culture encourage this, even formally in women's studies talking about "women's ways of knowing." Then women might enjoy making men wrong by bringing in these ideas of intuition and such... hmmmm, that brings in the whole concept of what you get conditioned to do in order to gain more social power. And we all respond well to what gets us social power as kids, we get conditioned as humans to do those things... so there's a mystical fiction about women. And women play a part in maintaining this story. It's just where our culture is. Consider how close the Christian Devil resembles the old European Male Horned God... the symbol in our culture for male sexuality...

I don't know what to say other than everyone should become solid enough in who they are and grounded enough to just relax and see that it's all just people.

I know that's what the convo was about, but... well... I just wanted to put my two pennies in.

[:-)

Jonathan