Hi Andrea, thanks for this great post! I really like the title of the thread too!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrea
Well my progress using the key sound has changed a bit for the better,
|
Excellent! Congratulations!
Quote:
|
I actually got some pretty nice orgasmic feelings (although not very intense) in the tail bone region a few weeks back.
|
Nice! More good news! Don't worry about intensity - that will increase with time and continuing practice.
Trust your body's Inner Wisdom about the pace at which it is opening this very powerful new avenue of feeling for you.
Quote:
|
This happened when I was really relaxed,
|
I'm very glad you have made that
essential connection!
The more you
allow yourself to relax, the more the orgasmic feelings will come.
Quote:
|
and I stopped trying to make my tailbone area pulse
|
Hey, you're really starting to get the hang of this!
Yes - stop
trying to make things happen...
Instead...
continue your practice of
relaxing and allowing these orgasmic feelings to manifest at their
own pace!
Quote:
|
and stopped trying to use fantasy.
|
This is really excellent news, Andrea...
Remember, fantasy
is a form of stimulation.
Please note that I'm not saying to never enjoy fantasy!
It's still a pleasant option to have in one's erotic repertoire...
That said, during your 20 minute Multiple Orgasm Trigger practice sessions, I encourage you to set fantasy aside... at least
some of the time...
just so you may discover what stronger feelings of pleasure may happen when you don't fantasize.
Quote:
|
Unfortunately my giddy self gets too excited whenever I start to feel these feelings of pleasure and this distracts me.
|
When you feel that you may be getting too excited, just pause all stimulation, and even your use of the Key Sound for a little bit, and move into some nice, slow, relaxing breathing...
In other words -
Relax and enjoy the ride!
You know,
coast for a while... wheeeeeee!!!
Quote:
|
I think I need to learn to relax more,
|
That's a very good goal in this practice.
The increasing surges of energy will
naturally tend to make you tense up.
That's true for pretty much everybody.
No biggie - when you notice the tension just frame it as an
opportunity to
relax and
feel more.
Quote:
|
but I'm sure the more i practice the more I'll learn how to control it.
|
Well, instead of framing this as a need to control
more...
Seize the opportunity to
release control by
relaxing more and letting go!
Quote:
|
However I have not been practicing much due to 1 being busy and 2 ejaculating too much.
|
I think it's noteworthy that you put being busy and ejaculating too much in the same sentence!
It's a natural tendency to want to use more ejaculation to help soothe yourself when you're feeling busy - maybe a little too busy?
It's also great that you are realizing that using more ejaculation as a means of soothing yourself may not really be giving you what you want.
I like that you're giving yourself the opportunity of replacing being busy so much and ejaculating more than you like with
relaxing more and letting go - into your Key Sound practice!
Quote:
|
I have been into semen retention in the past but I basically found out I was repressing my natural desires by doing so,
|
That's a
very astute realization!
When it comes to erotic practice - and I think that at least for the most part, in life generally - if you're trying to force something to happen, then it's either not right for you, or at least not right for you at that particular time.
Like the old song goes:
If it don't fit - don't force it - just relax and let it go!
Quote:
|
and I dont think this is healthy.
|
Again, imho, that's a very astute observation!
Quote:
|
This could sometimes result in compulsive masturbation once in a while which to me was a sign that I was doing something unnatural.
|
Yeah... just not furthering.
I also like
very much that you didn't seem to be shaming yourself or emotionally beating yourself up about that - just that hey here's a sign that something is a bit out of balance.
I think you're really doing
great as you move through this time of self-discovery and recalibration!
Quote:
|
So now I basically like to ejaculate once every 1-2 weeks but lately its been like 2-3 times a week.
|
Again, I love the matter-of-fact tone of your self-observation: No blame or shaming, just: hmmm what is this change in my natural pattern
and preference communicating to me?
Quote:
|
I know this is a kind of out of place question
|
Why should it be? I don't think it is, at all!!!
That's why we are here! To candidly and respectfully discuss these very kinds of issues!
I
applaud your doing so!
By doing so, you are not only helping yourself, you are
also helping many others who may have similar questions but who don't feel safe enough just yet to ask!
Being on the web, this is a
global forum, so by asking your questions honestly and openly, and eliciting responses from some of the rest of us, you are creating
global ripples of increasing awareness and healing!
And not just for today... Since this is a permanent record... the beneficial effects of your exploring this in this honest, articulate manner not only ripples around the planet, but across time as well.
Kinda cool, hunh?
Quote:
|
but how do you guys (for those of you that prefer to) keep yourself from ejaculating more than you would like to?
|
That's a really great question!
In my opinion, the
first secret is to
release trying to
control it, and instead, to
replace it with a behavioral pattern that is
more deeply satisfying.
And
that is what the Key Sound Multiple Orgasm (aka KSMO) practice is all about!
Don't try to control the behavior -
replace it!
That behavior is happening because your physical-emotional system is
searching for more completely fulfilling satisfaction - that's why trying to control it so often doesn't work out - in fact, may actually amplify the behavior!
I often equate this with the oil light coming on as you're driving down the road... Trying to control the condition it's signaling by disconnecting the oil light isn't going to remedy the situation! On the contrary!
And that's why it's important not to try to control these unwanted behaviors, but to
replace them with behaviors - in this case with KSMO practice - that
will give your system the
authentic satisfaction for which it hungers!
Quote:
|
I certainly find that practicing ksmo reduces my desire to ejaculate,
|
There you have it - that is the basic clue!
That your own body's inner wisdom communicating to you very clearly!
Quote:
|
even though I don't really get very pleasurable feelings yet.
|
I really
love that you added the
yet at the end of that sentence!
That is
precisely the right frame of mind in which to approach your continuing KSMO practice!
The pleasurable feelings
are happening... your practice
is beginning to work for you -
not only in giving you
some pleasure, but
also in giving you
relief from ejaculating more than you really want to!
The more you
let go of the pattern of trying to control the unwanted behaviors or to force the desired behaviors to happen (forcing being just another form of control!), the more those
pleasurable feelings will increase and
the more the unwanted behaviors are likely to decrease!
Quote:
|
So usually I have cycles where I practice ksmo a lot and ejaculate not too much, or ejaculate a lot and practice ksmo not too much.
|
When I became aware that sometimes people might have a tendency to practice ksmo "too much" - that is, using ksmo to
chase after the desired feelings - what Andi from the U.K. (yes her given name is Andrea!) referred to as
Chasing the fawn away - to the degree that it's not working that well for them - that's when I began urging people to limit the practice to no more than about 20 minutes or so per session, and no more than 3 times per week.
And guess what? The experiences of many others have now shown that when you just practice 20 minutes at a time - saving ejaculation until at least the next day - and that you take off at least one day from practice after each session -
then the Echo Effects
spontaneously start happening stronger and stronger - during those times
after the actual practice sessions, and often
even stronger on the days off -
between practice sessions!!!
That's also why I encourage you at least once per week - on the days
between your ksmo practice sessions, to likewise not ejaculate -
just to discover what might happen!
Andrea, thanks again very much for sharing such a deeply personal experience and concern in such a clear and straightforward manner.
I hope my comments (as well as Buster's) are supportive and helpful to you as you continue your practice. I look forward to your next report.
We are indeed here to help.
Wishing you all the
very best that life has to offer,
Jack