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Originally Posted by JWsp
Hey mog and thanks - Laly certainly did welcome me warmly here.
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Hey J, welcome to the forum!
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Originally Posted by JWsp
I grew up with phimosis - a condition where the foreskin of the penis does not retract.
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You did me a service - I had this and did not know the medical name for it.
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Originally Posted by JWsp
I had never really been able to physically feel anything with them - so it was difficult to get physically aroused with them..
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I'm sorry to hear that J...
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Originally Posted by JWsp
So I already had a pretty negative association with sex by then, and started, I think, to subconsciously sabotage my chances of intimacy with other women out of a fear of facing this issue.
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That sounds about right...
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Originally Posted by JWsp
Eventually I clued onto how the state of my foreskin was not the usual state of affairs, and saw a health professional. I ended up getting a circumcision (a traumatic few weeks in its own right!) at age 18.
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This happened to me at age 13... so I can empathise...
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Originally Posted by JWsp
And as much as I hoped that would solve my problems, I still had/have a huge negative association with sex due to my past experiences -with no new positive ones to counteract them.
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I can understand that....
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Originally Posted by JWsp
I am still left with this horrible mess of old negative association.
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I can understand why you think that having experienced similar situations...
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Originally Posted by JWsp
I have attempted using NLP, reframing, everything, but it is all so 'intellectual', it is not the real healing I need.
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H'mmm, this is not the NLP I know... however, it can understand how it can be intellectuallised..
Having said that, as a first consideration, have a look at
www.emofree.com. As a second consideration, please think and feel about contacting a professional counsellor to help you along that path. Know that you are valued by others even though it may not be apparent to you right now.
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Originally Posted by JWsp
Everytime somebody I know, close to me or otherwise, mentions sex in regards to their partner, somebody they have met (shallow or profound), I just feel sick and close off.
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From NLP; This is a typical see-feel circuit. How would you like it to be...?
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Originally Posted by JWsp
I am a twenty year old man, but with this piece of bad psychology, I certainly don't feel it.
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I appreciate where you are J. What would it be like to be valued?
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Originally Posted by JWsp
When I began the KSMO programme, on my second session, for some reason a thought of an old girlfriend came to mind, and it bought up a lot in the themes of rejection and low-worth, and soon thereafter the whole shadow-self became conscious - seeing how this issue affects how I see myself sexually, socially, mentally.
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This is a classic by product of KSMO in terms of self-healing that has already begun for you; Realisation of what needs to be done. Now.. what stops you?
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Originally Posted by JWsp
I don't know what else to type, now. Thank you for reading this far.
If anybody would like to share anything they consider helpful, feel free to.
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Thank YOU for being brave enough to share this with the community. It takes a lot to vocalise what's deep inside. I'm sure other members will share their thoughts and resources.
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Originally Posted by JWsp
Thanks,
J
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You're VERY welcome J!
Z