I haven't posted anything in a while: nothing sensational to report, and I've been pretty busy elsewhere - I'm lucky in having a rich 'other' life: music and family, etc. Nevertheless I'm endeavouring to keep the show on the road after a fairly devastating set-back which rather knocked me off my perch a while back.

Things had been OK: enjoying regular practice, with a good satisfying level of sustained, sometimes quite powerful, echoes. No peaks yet, but still quite happy basking in the shallows, with a sense that things would develop in their own sweet time. So it was fairly lowering to have it made clear to me that 'thirteen months does seem to be a rather long time to wait' for top-grade KSMO events. Even more so when that reckoning was followed by the glad news that it's possible to achieve 20-30 such events each day.

Not for the first time I can't help feeling that all those radiant, euphoric testimonies of the Adepts, while they can send encouraging signals from the other side, can also crush the spirit when the journey turns out to be a long one. Their message is in fact the most clamorous, deafening mind-noise of all.

'Keep the faith'. Was it the words of Drew (Gandolph), way back, that have brought back me on track? Also touching base with Zeit not long ago.

So what to do? Profer the empty cup. Live in the moment. I find that using some of my audio stuff blanks out, 'jams' the mind-noise helpfully. Keeps at bay the thoughts that, maybe, some of us ARE physiologically different, less 'talented' orgasmically than others? Or that I am getting no more than I deserve, etc. Blah, blah.... Once it starts it's like weeds.

So I tend my little flame - I'm a stubborn bastard; and it continues to reward me loyally each time in its quiet way.

TANTROS