• Laly joins Jack for a discussion on counseling and resuming KSMO practice after a hiatus.
• Laly reports resuming her KSMO practice after a 10 month break to focus on counseling for emotional issues. She and Jack have a discussion about her furball issues and her decision to resume practice.
• Laly describes her KSMO sessions since resuming practice and reports a tremendous breakthrough in her practice. Jack congratulates her on her considerable progress to date.

Session Start: Thu Dec 14 18:00:39 2006

Jack> All set. Hello again! Shall we wait for a few? It'll gimme a chance to have a wee gnosh. Bizzy day. :-)
Laly> sure. I can wait.
Jack> Thanks!
Jack> That way the other folks won't miss our pearls! :-)
Laly> yeah. I agree.
Jack> Well shall we proceed?
Laly> sure
Jack> I believe _you_ have the Talking Stick. :-)
Laly> LOL-.
Laly> am grinning.
Jack> me2
Laly> where shall we start ??
Jack> That is up to you. What comes to mind or heart?
Laly> ok - as you well know
Laly> I've recently begun KSMO practice again after a 10 month break.
Jack> Yes.
Laly> I started last week with a few nights of just listening to the 20 min KS track.
Jack> Had you not listened in ten months?
Laly> no KS of my own , just listening and feeling for an Echos or
Laly> no
Laly> total celibacy
Jack> Ok, for this record, would pls say why you made that decision?
Jack> That's in case somebody reads this without having read your prior story.
Laly> in November of last year I started seeing a counselor.
Laly> and I made a decision at that time to hold off on active practice.
Jack> Why did that coincide with your pausing KSMO practice? (ALL questions are OPTIONALLY answered... as usual!)
Laly> in my heart- I felt like I needed to focus myself on the counseling.
Laly> I knew that it wasn;t going to be an easy road to follow.
Jack> Yeah, and I'll add that that makes now, and made then, total sense!
Jack> Because basically you had begun KSMO practice... how long before you took that ten month break?
Laly> about 4 or 5 months into KSMO
Laly> and was snagging fur-balls in practice even at that point.
Jack> Pls correct me if I am misremembering events, but as I recall, you started noticing emotion furballs coming up coincident with your KSMO practice.
Jack> Ah yes, we ARE on the same page about it then!
Laly> the fur-balls in a way were related to my rape and sexuality issues jack.
Jack> For a newbie reader, would you say in your own words what is meant by snagging furballs ?
Laly> furballs- for newbies
Laly> k- fur-balls by my definition are emotional issues that can occur
Laly> while practicing
Laly> my (favorite) one or example
Laly> is the fact that I am (at this time)
Laly> finding myself unable to touch myself intimately/
Jack> [let alone be touched by someone else, I presume]
Laly> that too- but not limited to intimate touch by strangers or even people I knew
Laly> I flinched whenever someone touched my shoulder
Laly> or would jump.
Laly> quite embarrassing to say the least.
Jack> Yeah...
Laly> I worked very hard on the 2nd part.
Laly> learned to not flinch
Laly> physically anyhow.
Jack> That's GREAT and re: embarrassing - being able to give THAT shame back to the perpetrators as well.
Laly> inside I still trembled.
Laly> trembled.
Jack> Not surprising in the least, considering what you've survived.
Jack> Thank you VERY much for sharing the painful memories once again now, so that others may take heart and learn.
Laly> they are no longer painful memories
Jack> That is WONDERFUL!!!
Laly> just ones I want to share in hopes of helping others.
Jack> That is a TREMENDOUSLY loving, generous, and courageous gift, Laly!
Laly> that rape is not JUST a physical abuse but an emotional devastation as well.
Jack> Most definitely.
Jack> And now, after ten months... with your counseling process continuing,
Jack> what prompted to you to resume KSMO practice?
Laly> as you know
Laly> once you awake Echo Effects
Laly> it is VERY hard to ignore or 'turn them off'.
Laly> even when on hiatus I still felt them
Jack> That might seem scary to some people. How did you handle that?
Laly> at first I didn't
Laly> I basically ignored them
Laly> well , imho
Laly> when I ignored them , they only seemed to intensify.
Jack> What changed and when, how?
Laly> what changed...*sighs and laughs
Laly> I went back
Laly> and did some intensive meditation
Laly> really reflected
Laly> on what it was the was bothering me
Jack> [very good for grounding energy!]
Laly> that ,
Laly> I took a very hard and deep look at myself
Laly> inside and around me.
Jack> What did you discover?
Laly> that I was hiding again *sighs.
Jack> hiding how?
Laly> afraid.
Jack> of what?
Jack> or?
Laly> hiding how- from my feelings
Laly> things that ** and I were discussing in our counseling.
Jack> Thank you.
Laly> how I needed to let go and give back the stuff my abuser should take on.
Jack> Absolutely, and to do so in a supportive safe environment!
Laly> yes, even so , was very hard
Laly> for me,
Jack> And for the record, you have had to travel a considerable distance for each meeting, to get the help you need and deserve.
Laly> yes
Jack> I hear you! After all, in the beginning, your counselor too was a stranger. You had to take a risk.
Laly> an hour and a half
Laly> to another state - to see her.
Jack> Has it been worth it?
Laly> oh yes , very much so.
Jack> Way to go.
Jack> Way to GROW...
Laly> I used to cringe and not want to go in- when we get there - to the counseling place
Jack> The ancients taught their young that fear is an arrow that points to unclaimed personal power.
Laly> cry even sometimes, before we get there.
Jack> Yeah those tears have been pounding on the door wanting out for a long time !
Jack> And considering what happened to you in the first (and the second) place, it's really great
Jack> that you took the time you needed to find a truly safe, supportive, and SKILLED person(s) to help you.
Laly> thanks.
Jack> For the readers I'd also like to say
Jack> that we consider the break you took from active practice to be as we say Right On Protocol - being the Multiple Orgasm Trigger Protocol we use in this practice.
Jack> If you agree, would you consider speaking to that idea a little?
Jack> How can stopping the KSMO practice be On Protocol ?
Laly> OH
Jack> :-)
Laly> had me confused there for a minute
Laly> thanks for the clarification.
Laly> stopping or a break from KSMO is on protocol
Laly> because it gives you and your body time to adjust to the feelings/sensations you are "awamening"
Laly> awakening
Jack> yeah, both. :-)
Laly> much like a newborn and seeing the world around him or her those first few years
Jack> I knew when I was first discovering how this practice affected us, that as we started to open to these deeper levels of pleasure, any unhealed emotional wounding was likely to resurface,
Laly> yeah - was getting to that
Jack> like they were energized by the positive energy being awakened through the practice and saying Heal Me Too!
Jack> Oh, 'scuse me, LOL. Yes, you do indeed still have the Talking Stick! Way to hang on to it! LOL!
Laly> is ok jack.
Jack> I know. And thanks! :-) Pls, continue at your own pace. :-)
Laly> and not everyone has the same furball issues
Jack> most definitely.
Jack> And everyone may be at different stages of healing vis a vis different emotional wounds.
Laly> there are some emotional issues that we term 'terror at the gates',
Jack> Whoa now that DOES sound scary !
Laly> yes it does...
Jack> Are you sure this practice is fun?
Laly> oh yes
Jack> [ I tend to agree. Pls continue :-) ]
Laly> and imho , quite addictive
Laly> both in the level of pleasure felt
Laly> and the immense energy released.
Jack> Yeah, well said. That resonates for me.
Laly> for me sex was equated , in my mind, to pain and anger
Laly> before KSMO
Laly> that is there was no pleasurable feelings
Laly> that I had to do it
Jack> When did you notice that pattern starting to change?
Laly> about 6 months into practice
Jack> What happened? ( all answers optional! )
Laly> I experienced my first set of multiple orgasms
Laly> without any stimulation at all
Jack> How did that affect the prior patterns you were experiencing?
Laly> I no longer felt that need or compulsive of HAVE to orgasm every nite in order to sleep
Laly> or to avoid the nightmare that plagued me for years since the rape.
Jack> Was that a sudden shift or a gradual one? It sounds wonderful!!!
Laly> gradual shift.
Laly> as is the pdf file
Laly> *in - this is not a race
Laly> to hurry yourself
Jack> Exactly. It's a very gentle awakening.
Laly> but to be gentle with yourself
Laly> allow yourself to explore
Jack> Or even re-awakening of cellular memory if you will.
Laly> yes.
Laly> I took the explore issue to not only mean
Laly> the sexual side of myself
Laly> I took it to mean - all of me
Laly> spiritually, emotionally
Laly> everything.
Jack> Good. You got the message.
Laly> and it has been QUITE a discovery .
Laly> a learning journey even,
Jack> I agree and believe that there are many many more pages to turn, many more gateways
Jack> in that journey, that adventure of the Self .
Laly> yes
Jack> I had a very strong suspicion that as people began gently awakening this deeper erotic
Jack> response, it would of course affect them emotionally - their heart - as well.
Laly> well - in my experience
Laly> it has
Jack> I knew then that as the pleasure started filling the Vessel that is their Emotional Self, those
Jack> old emotional wounds would float into awareness - seeking healing and resolution.
Laly> yes
Jack> That's why you got so much unequivocal support around here when you started considering getting the professional help you so well deserved.
Laly> and I felt that all the way to my heart too
Jack> To me, that was on Protocol. On Protocol is NOT pedal to the metal know matter how you're feeling.
Jack> Don't keep driving if the emotional oil light comes on !
Laly> yes.
Laly> when I started KSMO
Jack> Stop and get some professional help under the hood! :-)
Laly> I had NO expectations at all on what I wanted from it
Jack> That is a PERFECT way to begin!
Jack> The Empty Cup.
Jack> That first step can be a slippery one for many!
Jack> Especially will all of the Go For It! enculturation associated with sexual arousal and how to experience it.
Jack> will all = with all.
Laly> well I read the pdf file and remembered the one about mind traps
Jack> aka mind noise ... pls continue...
Laly> where IF you thought something may or may NOT or SHOULD happen
Laly> that this in fact may hamper progress
Laly> yeah re..min noise
Laly> *mind
Jack> Certainly, it seems that if someone is fretting so much about all of those concerns during practice,
Jack> then most of their blood in in the fretting part of their brain rather than somewhere else where it could be
Jack> feeding pleasure centers.
Jack> Call me a pragmatist.
Laly> not only during practice jack, but even before beginning practice
Jack> Most definitely! That's what I refer to as the Foo Dogs !
Laly> .
Jack> Definitely need a wiki page about Foo Dogs !
Jack> All of that howling going on in one's head when in fact what's
Laly> anyway- in the past week
Laly> I have had a total of 2 KSMO session
Jack> beginning to awaken throughout your body is pretty exciting, and as you've mentioned, can be
Laly> WITH KS 20 min
Jack> a little scary, like going over the top on a giant roller coaster.
Jack> Yes re: your current return to practice, pls continue.
Laly> and 3 trial runs last week with no ks at all
Laly> just to feel any echos
Laly> arise/awaken
Jack> Good idea!
Jack> I really like your intuition about how you're approaching this.
Laly> first one- I got trembles from my waist to my knees
Laly> (thanks - )
Laly> next one- trembles + shivering waves and goosebumps all over
Laly> last one- definite pleasure pooling
Laly> and a generous warmth feeling down below
Laly> ( still can t bring myself to say it)
Laly> am blushing
Jack> That's ok. YOU get to choose!!!
Laly> this week my first KS session
Laly> I got the hot and cold, bliss tears
Laly> and the gentle start to orgasm
Laly> but no big "O" at that time
Laly> which was cool- was NOT my ultimate goal.
Jack> GOOD!
Laly> Tues nite- the echos were really hyped
Laly> that is, really flowing through me
Laly> my shoulders ITCHED like mad - lol.
Jack> LOL. The different neural pathways seem to have their own way of handling this awakening energy. Doncha get some sense of a deeper and wise inner wisdom is guiding your reawakening in this way?
Laly> and the tingling was and had been going on all day
Laly> oh yes- very much so.
Jack> As in oy!
Laly> I had a smile PLASTERED on my face all day at work
Laly> knowing what was going on
Laly> and also knew that a session was in due order
Jack> Ding!
Laly> I didn't rush myself = ate , exercised
Laly> sat down ,
Laly> took 10-15 min to relax
Laly> breath
Laly> once I felt calm enough to begin
Jack> Very important to time it like that!
Laly> I played the 20 min KS
Laly> yes
Jack> [20 min KS from the second audio seminar Key Sound Training ]
Laly> I didn't always follow you in the KS
Laly> but sometime right after
Laly> like a tadem thing
Jack> That's fine! Use it however it works best for you!
Laly> and within 4-5 min I was
Laly> in orgasmic heaven
Laly> whimpering
Laly> bliss tears,
Laly> weeping
Laly> just wave after wave
Jack> [ I associate that bliss weeping as My Cup Runneth Over ]
Laly> at some point I could not feel my feet cept the pads
Laly> that were on the floor
Laly> I tipped my head back, hands on the arms of the chair
Laly> and let out a very rough moan
Laly> a "oooooo"
Laly> .
Jack> Because the spirit moved ye !
Laly> and when I did this I felt myself ascend about 3 levels higher on the orgasm plane
Laly> like an elevator that dinged the floor marked _ORGASMIC BLISS"
Jack> That really makes sense to me! Certain sounds - most especially the Key Sound - but also those spontaneous - highly charged sounds - really serve to AMPLIFY the arousal and MOVE IT THRU THE BODY.
Laly> uh huh.
Jack> They really seem to set up a positive feedback loop that allows the waves of feeling to become stronger and of greater variety as well.
Laly> and last nite - I will say was a crowning and a huge advancement for me
Jack> CONGRATULATIONS AND CONGRADUATIONS!
Jack> What happened?
Laly> last nite - I achieved my first manual stimulated pleasurable orgasm
Laly> no stress or frustration at all
Laly> just a OH WOW
Jack> Laly, WOW...
Laly> and yeah
Laly> I know - I was so happy
Jack> A Miracle . Way to GROW Girl!!!!
Laly> just to be able to touch myself there finally
Laly> and feel no shame/guilt
Laly> just felt natural
Jack> WOW...
Laly> I know - just talking and I my heart is pounding
Jack> Take your time... feel free to take a break or stop altogether - whenEVER... Because now YOU get to choose.
Jack> Laly your story and your actions are REALLY INSPIRING !!!
Laly> thanks
Jack> REALLY REALLY COURAGEOUS!!!
Jack> Question if I may...
Laly> sure.
Jack> Thanks! Just above, you said
Jack> "...my first manual stimulated pleasurable orgasm.
Jack> "
Jack> Since... ever? or ?
Laly> first ever- the key word jack "pleasureable".
Jack> Right! I thought so!
Jack> Pleasurable AND satisfying? Nourishing maybe?
Laly> yes to all.
Laly> *chuckling.
Jack> I think that's a big difference for a lot of people. Lotta lotta folks know how to experience some kind pleasure,
Jack> but as in your sitch until this past 18 mos or so, there may have been a kind of pleasure , but little or no satiety - often
Jack> more of an emptiness, sadness, etc.
Laly> yes- almost an unfilled something I couldn't put my finger on or name.
Laly> *finger
Jack> I REALLY WANT TO WISH YOU A VERY HAPPY RE-BIRTHDAY!!!
Laly> thanks
Laly> this week has been the best birthday gift I've ever had for myself.
Jack> You are very welcome. Also, if you don't mind, would you be willing to state your approximate age?
Jack> That is REALLY WONDERFUL LALY !!!!
Laly> on Monday- I'll be 36 .
Jack> You GO Girl !!!!!!!
Jack> May Life's Blessings Shower Upon You !
Laly> they already are jack, they already are .
Jack> I HEAR ya !!!
Jack> Your story tonight is a GREAT way to finish off our 2006 Year of Coaching and Discussion Chats !
Jack> WOW WOW WOW !!!
Laly> * smiles - is speechless,
Laly> am telling self NOT to cry
Laly> if I do won't stop.
Jack> Well Laly, with all my heart I can congratulate you - on very very many levels - for your courage, persistence, EMOTIONAL HONESTY - whew.
Laly> thanks.
Jack> May you have a Wonder Full holiday season !
Laly> you too
Laly> and to all of you I share a very heartful HUG
Jack> Thank you. And thank you for being such a generously giving member of our online community !
Laly> your welcome and I wouldn't have it any other way jack.
Jack> I HEAR THAT!!! Thanks Laly - Sweet Dreams!
Laly> sweet dreams Jack
Session Close: Thu Dec 14 20:00:52 2006