K Jack...some good news to share today.

I think my grandpa finally "got the hint" that I didn't want hugs from him anymore - since he never even tried to do that today.

He sat in chair next to mine - and for once -- I never flinched, showed any fear ... a HUGE step forward in courage for me !!! We even talked a little about my next trip to MI :).

On another issue...I got to hold n play with/feed my great-nephew , who's just starting to cut his first tooth. He didnt like his pacifier , kept spitting it out. He seemed to like my index finger though :D ...kept putting it and "gumming" it to death. I just had this huge grin on my face and so much love flowing. He has a lil cough and congestion, so I was running some healing energy to him most of the afternoon.

Feeding him...that was a learning experience as I found out he like to lay with his head near the heart so he can hear that (i think). Soon he drifted off to sleep...not for long (as you might well know [or not] infants rarely sleep for a long time frame) i laid down on the couch with him stretched out across my chest- holding the bottle while he finished it off.

For me...I am taking this as a sign that I am ready to move on...have let go of the past (fears and all).

wipes tears...so for me-- am thankful for so many things and people and most of all for myself in not giving up - for being who I am.

So to my KSMO family- I hope you all had/have a GREAT Thanksgiving .

HUGS

with love n joy

"From there on, I was in high spirits the rest of the workshop. I didn't let anything get me down...I total change from that morning. The energy n spirit of the room just filled me completely!"

K-- to continue on :)...

The energy in that room was enormous...I could hardly sit still...during breaks would go up in the open area close to speakers and I danced. The smile on my face huge as I did so. It was as if I had wings I could have flow- I felt that light and care-free. My hip was aching from sitting so much , but I didn't let that stop me from dancing and enjoying the workshop.

There was one exercise that required "a leader" for the exercise--and the group I was with - they all looked around and no one was volunteering; so I decided to step up and (once AGAIN outside my comfort zone) decided to volunteer. The looks of relief on the faces was evident n clear ..they were grateful.
I am bound to secrecy on exactly the exercise entailed- but let me just say ... it was NOT the easiest exercise we'd done--was the "most dangerous" of all of them we'd done that weekend.

Drew asked me if I was scared...and to my joy n his amazement I told him NO-that I was looking forward to it. After all that I had already been through thus far-- this to me was nothing. I was like "bring it on!!" No fear at all, but excitement. *beeming smile

k more later-- HUGS

I had a very interesting time of sleep and dreaming last night in which I had great orgrasmic feelings. The past couple of nights, since returning to my workout regime, I have awoken in the morning with stronger than normal erections. Last night, before getting into bed, I could feel a sense of low level arousal coupled with a sense that I needed to stretch the muscle in my penis. It's hard to explain, but I get that feeling... and I haven't for a long time.... that when my penis is erect I want to try and bend it left or right to stretch it. The feeling I get is exactly like when one has a stiff back or leg muscle etc. and then stretches it until they feel that relief. Not sure why I have this feeling in my penis but I guess it's a muscle too and needs stretching. :) Needless to say, later that night, in my dreams I could feel great orgasmic feelings and awoke with a very strong erection. Definitely a great feeling!

After a month off KSMO due to being sick, work and just general lethargy, I had a great weekend of KSMO sessions. My housemates were away Friday night and Sunday and so I decided to take advantage of this much need personal time and practice KSMO. To my delight I was not let down. It's amazing how I am now able to just pick up with my KSMO practice right where I left off.

Right from the beginning of my session I was aware of energy flowing in both my arms which was a very pleasurable feeling. I was also able to access, almost immediately, great orgasmic feelings in my genitals. became more aware of pleasurable feelings in my prostate and anal region as well, which after a half hour of KSMO I decided to explore further with the Aneros. I noticed that I had a better sense of where my prostate was in my body and cool feel the aneros massage it more as well. This has changed since previous Aneros sessions where I had no clue or feeling of where my prostate is. From this great session I came to the realization of how KSMO has helped me to become more sensitive to my body and how I am becoming more and more rewired. I also noticed that my ears, which have had trouble draining, were free and clear after this session. I also felt so relaxed and aroused. What a great feeling.

My Sunday session was a great continuation of my Friday session with lots of great 'keysound connections' and 'opening up the orgasmic conduit' and ended with some great orgasmic pc muscle flutters.

HI...I've been through the emotional wringer the past few weeks. I shared some of it last night in the 1st chat session: Last longer in bed using the Multiple Orgasm Trigger™.

I'll try to explain more of what I said in chat.

For the one workshop, I explained that I had great fears in attending because of a few reasons : 1. the great number of people I saw signed up for the event , 2: My concerns over being able to hear the speaker (I am deaf in my right ear, severely impaired in the left) , 3. My HUGE concerns over the # of people attending and being in a closed room with them possibly triggering a panic attack.

Once signed in and got in the room, my thoughts were "OHH MY GOD!!" and I started to feel myself panic. But I didn't, just re-centered myself and walked on. Yes, I did bring my hearing aid, but with so many people talking I ended up with a HUGE headache in a few hours, so I took it out and the rest of the workshop relied ALOT on my lip reading abilities.
At one point I was far enough in the back that I couldn't hear the speaker or read his lips, and I took a HUGE step of courage and asked about seating closer to the stage. I was taken to the head organizer and Richard was really sweet ya all--gave me a special VIP tag and lead me right up to seating in front of the stage. Once I saw where he was going- I nearly wept. I just thanked him and he said from now on this is the area where I was sit.

I talked to myself and I chose to "be" a part of the workshop rather than hide and be afraid n hide. The energy shift was phenomenal. I put a lil label on my name badge letting people know I was severely hearing impaired just so I didn't have to keep repeating it every time. Everyone was just so helpful and outgoing, it made participating more fun. They were very helpful too, when I missed something the speaker said.

The energy in the room was UNbelieveable!! During breaks, I'd get up n move to loosen the stiffness and then I'd hear the music being played (I had to be close to the speakers on stage to hear it clearly) and I would dance!! yeah DANCE in front and not care who was watching me. Just feel the music and let my body sway n boogie.

As I mentioned in chat, James came up at one break -- grabbed my hand and he n I started dancing . I didnt panic-- but boy a HUGE grin and a smile and we had fun!! After that, James didnt - much to my surprise- sit far from me the rest of the workshop.

Marc-- one of the workshop co-presenters...walked by me after one break - stopped and asked me if I was coming on stage and dancing. I think my jaw dropped! A lil twinge of fear popped up but I ignored it and said "Sure Marc :) !" So I danced on stage in front of 600 other people n with several others. I was nervous, but I closed my eyes-put the crowd out of my mind and just listened to the music n danced :D .

From there on, I was in high spirits the rest of the workshop. I didn't let anything get me down...I total change from that morning. The energy n spirit of the room just filled me completely!

Almost time for church...so I'll finish this at a later time...

HUGSS

Gold Nugget - KSMO and smoking cessation - Multiple Orgasm Trigger Protocol helps a guy quit smoking!

I don't know why I didn't add this into my last post.
I quit smoking cigerettes the last week in August this year after smoking pretty harsh for around 8 years.
This is the 3'rd time I have quit and the last I can without a doubt say.
Now both of the previous times I quit I always felt much better and had more energy not to mention I could smell. )
This time it's much different ! My body and in particular immune system is finally adjusting to the increased oxygen and combined with the renewed KSMO practise
I feel INCREDIBLE~
Since my last post the orgasms I'v been experiencing from the KSMO have had me absolutely spellbound and my energy just keeps increasing. I feel like I am about to become like "Light" or something it's realy kool.
Also...I used the energy from the orgasms to deter the smoking habit.So instead of a smoke I had an orgasm=)
It makes a comparison in your mind between something that steals away life energy and something that gives it and makes the choice to quit so much easier to make.

So...Thanks again Jack!

I took the MBTI test Jack mentioned in the last Chat session. It turns out I’m an INTP with shades of INFP influence. I just had to chuckle about how “spot on” the descriptions hit. It turns out I made the right career decision by becoming an architect (see - http://www.keirsey.com/handler.aspx?...=5&c=architect ). And having my Significant Other being the optimal compliment to me, she’s an ESFP (see - Relations of Duality between psychological ("personality") types ) I must have made a number of good decisions along life’s way to be enjoying these benefits.

The last few sessions continue to see incremental fractal integration taking place. New spot areas of my body are awakening, exhibiting differing characteristics : a buzz here, a short series of pulsations there, small mini-muscle spasms over here, these have typically all been unpredictable, spontaneous occurrences. I liken it to the tune-up session an orchestra goes through before the actual concert. In today’s session, a few sour notes were encountered in the form of small body aches also occurring, I am thinking these are some kind of furballs, old emotional wounds manifesting themselves and asking for healing. I’ve told myself to ask for clarification on the issue to be addressed, I’ll let my sub-conscious work out the translation to the conscious.
It turns out that ‘Bambi’s friend ‘Thumper’ has also decided to start investigating me during a KSMO session, I experienced a rather strong single diaphragm/abdominal contraction during the session, like a thumb thump to the solar plexis, and later while my thumb was completely still and relaxed, resting on my caress point (left nipple), there was a spontaneous poke to the nipple, strong enough to startle me. I also felt the expanding inner mind space again today with some nice random pattern colored mosaics slowly turning and morphing upon the inner screen. I also felt a certain lightness to the crown of my head (crown chakra stimulation perhaps?). All in all a pleasant and entertaining session.

My last session was pleasurable indeed. Not as explosively as the one before that, but somehow that doesn't bother me. I'm just glad that I can relax and be happy with whatever pleasurable feelings that shows up. Doesn't matter if they are really strong or not.

Something I've noticed the last couple of sessions is that the pleasurable feelings seem to shine down my legs. That feels like progress to me.

Gold Nugget - Health benefits from practice of the Multiple Orgasm Trigger Protocol

So it's been a while since I posted..whoops :) And Im realy glad It's November !!
I think the colder weather setting in in helping me to relax and get a bit more cozy with things and on that note I had a realy FUN session yesterday when I was alone in the house.
I did it on purpose ...waited for my housemates to leave for work that is so I
could speak the Key Sound as clear and loud as I "Felt", to let the sounds spoken intensity flow naturally in its strength.
What an incredible session that was too!
My whole body was electrified or magnetized
it felt like and in the area of my groin or around the pubic bone there was this slight tugging sensation that heralded the most incredible sexual sensations at my prosate, perenium, and up through my waist.
When I spoke the "Key Sound" I realy felt it vibrate through my mid section and eventually moved through the rest of the body as well as it could.
This was ground breaking for me !! I had only imagined it would feel this good!
So anyway i'm feeling better as my health steadily improves from this wonderful program and wish I would have tried it sooner= )

I had a session just minutes ago. I felt the pleasureable feelings increase, not much, but they did increase a little bit.

But now I just feel like I'm going to explode. :D I haven't masturbated in a couple of days, and MY GOD, it feels like I'm a ticking time bomb. But at the same time as I feel a HUGE urge to just ejaculate, it also feels pleasurable.

It kinda feels like I'm unable to decide whether I'm just gonna masturbate or just leave it alone. But I think I'm gonna stick to just leave it be, and masturbate tomorrow instead.

Anyhow, I believe I'm making some progress here, which is all good. ;)

Okay, so I had another session today. And I must say that I think I'm starting to get it. I've really started to just be in the moment and appreciate the good feeling I feel in the now. Not striving for more pleasurable feelings but just enjoying the good feelings I feel right at this moment.

And today I think I had the best results so far. I've been testing to every now and then during a session do some spontaneous sounds, and that my friends REALLY work. I've found that often more pleasure comes when I do one of these spontaneous sounds, then when I do the key sound.

To sum it up, I'm really satisfied with the practice right now.

Okay everyone. I'm back trying the KSMO method once again.

There have been various reasons that I've stopped doing the method in the past.
One of the biggest reasons have been that it hasn't been compatible with my sexlife. Cause your not supposed to ejaculate on a KSMO session day, and I just can't say no to sex with my girlfriend, even on a session day.

Now, sadly, me and my girlfriend has broken up. It was she who ended the relationship, and I've been really down emotionally for a period. I still am.
And now I felt that maybe I should start practicing again, as maybe it will help me deal with the pain I feel inside.

Anyhow, I've been getting some results in the past, though nothing major breathtaking ones. But I still believe in this method, though for me I suspect it will take some time for it to bloom.
What was positive though was that even though I haven't done a session in many months, the first session I did the good feelings came back about as strong as they were when I stopped doing it many months ago.

I suspect that results will come faster this time, since I'm not in a relationship anymore, so I will be more dedicated to it.

Anyway, it's good to be back! I'll keep posting.

Thomas

Gold Nugget - Words Fail - Discovering and transforming furballs - emotional furballs - releasing attachment to outcome - chasing the fawn - allowing the fawn to come to you - healing father son conflict

I just finished reading Abbess Zenkei Blanche Hartman’s Beginner’s Mind (Thanks for the link Jack). During the read a fur ball popped up into my mind, a father-son issue. As I stopped the read and allowed the issues to emerge, I found myself coming to tears of understanding and forgiveness for the self imposed hurt I had been holding for so many years. Since my mid teens, a schism has existed between my father and I, which I thought was a conflict of egos, but after reading this article, I now see it as the difference between the “expert’s mind” and the “beginner’s mind”. My father, as long as I can remember, has always retained the “expert’s mind” approach to his life, while I have often tried to get him to at least consider the possibility that his thinking could be incorrect on a great number of topics over the years. The frustration of repeated rejections of my efforts left me feeling un-loved and disrespected many times over the intervening years. While I have released the anger generated by the frustration over the last few years, as my father’s health deteriorates, the schism remained. I believe I can now close the rift by just letting go of any artificial “need” to bridge a gap that only existed in my mind. He is who he is, I am who I am, we are who we are, that is enough and that is OK.

The article also resonated with me on some other topics - “As Stephen Batchelor says in Alone with Others, this horizontal dimension of having or getting or acquiring just goes on and on; there's always more. It's insatiable. There's never enough. But sometime, something will turn or transform our attention from this dimension of having and accumulating and acquiring to the dimension of being. What is that? What is it to be human? What is this life? What am I? How shall I manifest this life now? This becomes the great matter.” I realize now my recent encounter with cancer is the “something” that has transformed my attention to the dimension of being.

"Right here is the peak of the mystic mountain." Words Fail

I can only conclude from the recent growth experiences the KSMO protocol is opening me to even greater possibilities than I had originally come to this practice to explore, this is pretty cool stuff!

I find myself in a somewhat unfamiliar area regarding KSMO. I had lost interesting all together in wanting to orgasm...for the pleasure, the magnificence of the awing feelings it aroused in me.
In fact I am coming to realize may be regressing back to when I first chose KSMO and that was to overcome the feeling of "needing" to orgasm/have sex in order to sleep - avoid nightmares. Once I realized or became aware of what I was doing , I stepped back and really berated myself something fiercely.

Do I 'miss' practicing...to be honest - the answer is a resounding no. I never joined KSMO to learn about how to have a better sex life. (begins to cry)
It was to learn what a healthy "regular" sex life was supposed to be like.

I feel KSMO was/is more of a springboard for me--my journey has taken me to a higher plane -- beyond the metaphysical world- to an level of spiritual awareness that has me both astounded and perplexed at the same time.

I am in a world of constant amazement in the fact of the growth and bounds I've achieved- yet at the same time anxious and frustrated too when it seems like I have stalled or at a stand still. wanting to "make" something happen.

Not even with my beginning of KSMO did i ever feel the "need" to want to make orgasms happen.

*lets out pent up breath and sighs

such a dilemma...only one person whom can overcome this... and that is me.