Notes from the past month.. part Deux of Deux

... continued from Notes from the past month.. part Une of Deux

Echoes & Experiences

In chronological order

04/01/08 (Seated on chair with no caress):

The first Echo Effect appeared as a 'cold energy' which manifested in my thighs, running down them stopping at my knees. I was excited by its appearance but scared it away as soon as I began to consciously acknowledge and describe it.

I then needed to remind myself to relax and focus on the meditative qualities of the Key Sound with surprising results. With this reminder my Key Sound calibrated deeper and felt 'better'. Soon after a subtle wave of energy appeared in my hands and began to move toward the lower part of my torso.

A few Key Sounds later and this energy had enveloped my entire body, and vibrated subtlety, feeling much like the 'cold energy' that I had described earlier. This new sensation felt as if my entire body was exposed to a gentle and cool breeze. Again, as I began to acknowledge, analyze and describe the feeling it began to recede.

07/01/08 (Seated on chair with no caress):

The focus for the session centered on a piece of advice from Zeitgeist and his thread "From the first encouraging signs". My intention was to focus on whole body awareness, to consciously expanded my attention to my entire body, as opposed to the narrowed focus attention to Echoes as they happen.

I began to visualize after my sessions.I see my body glowing brightly with energy, and for this energy to race backward and forward along my body in orgasmic/ecstatic waves. Of course this made me feel quite good.

10/01/08 (Seated on chair with no caress):

During the session there was subtle energy movement but for the most part it was largely interrupted by noise from an experience that I had during the meditation preceding the KSMO session.

I had chosen to listen to some Native American Indian Flute music (R. Carlos Nakai) while seated cross-legged. I had my eyes closed and immediately noticed my attention (consciousness?) moving to the rhythm and beat of the song, a new sensation to me. Soon after I was presented with a visualization which beamed to me as a TV would beam a pictured to the seated individual...

I saw various Native American Indians, in amongst various different scenes. As I was watching I had a sense of familiarity, as if one of the characters could have been me or represented me. There was a shaman/elder playing his flute over the camp-fire and two adolescents enjoying each others company following a recent elopement.

The couple was soon separated, as the warrior was needed to do battle. I then saw the warrior fall and die in battle, and felt the girl's sadness as she had intuitively realized that she had just lost her loved one. At this point in the visualization I noticed that her eyes were very similar to mine, and soon felt a wave of energy, rushing from the base of spine right up into my head. I felt as if I was about to burst into tears, and soon, the energy dissipated.

Past life experience? Maybe.

17-01-08 (Seated on chair with no caress):

This session was practised in front of a mirror. Late into the session I noticed the familiar vision distortion that I have documented in a previous blog post. My vision begins to bend, darken and distort as I watch myself become more and more relaxed either through the Key Sound or through meditation.

I then closed my eyes and felt that shift in gear that I sometimes feel when listening to Jack's Key Sound. The acknowledgment of this shift in gear then probably clouded my perception of what was really happening .

23-01-08 (Lying on back with gentle caresses):

I found myself far more relaxed than I had been in the previous handful of sessions. My throat was extremely relaxed and I did not find it difficult to articulate while on my back (as has been the case on other occasions).

It was a very relaxing session, with gentle caresses of the perineum, which I note for the attitude that I had taken. I enjoyed each moment and set a precedent (in terms of mindset/attitude) to take with me in subsequent sessions.

26-01-08 (Lying on back with gentle caresses):

My throat wasn't as relaxed as the previous day and thus this session was characterized by niggles in my throat when articulating. Nevertheless I did a refreshingly cool energy (as felt in other sessions) on the left side of my body right down to my waist. I also felt a nice buzz in my lower back during my post-session visualizations. Nice.

31-01-08 (Seated on bed with gentle caresses):

I felt distinct tingles in my face, cheek and forehead.. which felt quite good and almost tickled!

05-02-08 (Seated on chair with gentle caresses):

This session was characterized by how pleasant my skin was to touch (via the gentle caress). I ran my fingers along my skin and it was surprisingly far more sensitive than I ever remember it to be.

Particular sensitive areas include the line drawn from my throat to my belly button, my chest, and the sides of my body, underneath my armpits down to my waist. Gentle caresses before each Key Sound would often push my inhale a little quicker than I would intend, which was also rather surprising.

Realizations
During the month I meditated on the coolness of breath. I would feel my breath enter into my body at the nostrils, and feel it makes it way in and out of my body, again via the nostrils. This would relax me and create a nice body-mind awareness.

Soon after having this experience I intuited that the same could be done with the Key Sound. For many sessions I would listen to the Key Sound, checking its resonance, length, and pitch to ensure that I was doing it correctly. I still do this to some degree, but now have a tool with which to disengage this mental process and to enjoy the breathing in and breathing out of each breath, including the breath that is accompanied by the Key Sound.

Pan's mantra, "Grant me the wisdom to enjoy each and every experience", led me to a more personal interpretation. Even though the content is essentially the same, when advice is re-worded with one's own energy/words/writing style, it often takes on deeper meaning.

I remember thinking and writing (in my journal) immediately after one of my sessions:

Enjoy the shower I take before the session. Enjoy the robe that I put on following the shower. Enjoy the environment that I've created. Enjoy each breathe that I take. Enjoy the bodily awareness that is created. Enjoy each inhalation. Each exhalation. Each pause. Each Key Sound. Each Echo Effect. Enjoy it all!

The most recent realization to hit me involves an earlier quote from Pan:

..think of this practice as a process of REMEMBERING what my body ALREADY knows and ALLOWING it to TEACH ME

I thought, "ohhh I am not the one teaching my body, it is the one that is teaching me!"

And another piece of advice from a Zeitgeist post:

Wait, watch and listen

This new realization has given me a different perspective, given that for the most part I have been trying to teach my body, and thus trying to get results. Now, I will let my body teach me, and allow the good feelings to come through when I am ready for them.
(By the way, I've probably read this advice a few times and have consciously acknowledged, but until now it hasn't taken on deep insight.)

Where to next?

I'm off for approximately two weeks as I attend a 10 day Vipassana meditation course (for more info visit www.dhamma.org). When I get back I intend on learning and using EFT (www.emofree.com) and other Energy Psychology methods to help with the negative judgments, beliefs and expectations that lurk in and out of conscious/subconscious mind.

I also have this new perception that has recently made its way into my reality. My body is the teacher.. And! I have only recently introduced the gentle caress into my sessions (which probably explains the absence of erotic/sexually oriented Echo Effects). As always, there is much to look forward to, and much to enjoy here in the present.

That's all for now.

Lopez.