Progress report blog #4
Posted 20th July 2008 at 01:40 by Ageless
Blog #4 – Progress report.
WOW – what a week this has been. Not sure where I am going with this, but am enjoying the journey.
Had one interesting insight yesterday. I was with my son watching my eight year old grand daughter show off her newly acquired “circus” abilities. Twice during the show I was hit with a wave of sadness and tears.
It wasn’t the show – it was realizing how deeply I have been hurt, how it happened, and how much I have missed.
I have continued to have those rhythmic contractions at times in my genital area during my KSMO sessions. They are neat but now secondary to other stronger orgasmic sensations. Contractions can be tiring. Last Tuesday during my KSMO, the sensations in my genitals and back reached the point when twice I had what amounted to an orgasm without ejaculation. My body literally convulsed in frenzy, particularly my pelvic area. My arms and legs were also involved. Sadly, I could barely feel the orgasmic sensations of pleasure I had been feeling – although I tried to. I suspect I was discharging the energy rather than let it build. ??? I think I think I should have used sounds to discharge the energy. Anyone, am I correct.
Thursday, the same thing happened but I relaxed as much as I could -- only had a few strong contractions. And right then and there were the feelings of orgasmic pleasure – far more than I had ever felt them before in my life. The process is working Jack!
My echoes keep getting stronger and more noticeable. I am now having what I am calling “morninggasms.” Its been many a year since I have awoken with an erection. The last few days, however, I have been waking early with a start of an erection and feeling sexual pleasure in my genitals (energy flow) (maybe what wakes me) and then in my groin area and back. My whole body was really "vibrating". Each time, and quickly, I became fully erect and very hard. At this point yesterday, and today, I was “off to races.” The intense pleasure (it moved around) this morning must have lasted for at least 45 plus minutes.
I noted this morning during my morninggasms that sometimes an area would feel more erotic and when I shifted my attention to it, the pleasure in other areas often seemed to intensify. I was also aware of some sort of flutter of a muscle(s) in my groin area. Anybody know what this is all about??? I would say my key word from time to time– that sometimes intensified the feelings but not always.
During this mornings KSMO exercise, the feelings were even more intense. Toward the end, even my eyelids were fluttering. Does this mean anything. ???
I feel I am making great progress – but still a ways to go as I am not yet feeling “waves” of pleasure -- something I am looking forward to. I know that my “mindful meditation” is helping. It took a long time for me to learn to just feel sensations in my body without being judgmental or trying to “figure out” why or where they came from. The secret is to “just feel” and accept – “thinking” not allowed. This may apply to this KMSO process also.
And each morning when I meditate I thank my spirit guides for their help in this process. I happen to believe this also helps.
WOW – what a week this has been. Not sure where I am going with this, but am enjoying the journey.
Had one interesting insight yesterday. I was with my son watching my eight year old grand daughter show off her newly acquired “circus” abilities. Twice during the show I was hit with a wave of sadness and tears.
It wasn’t the show – it was realizing how deeply I have been hurt, how it happened, and how much I have missed.I have continued to have those rhythmic contractions at times in my genital area during my KSMO sessions. They are neat but now secondary to other stronger orgasmic sensations. Contractions can be tiring. Last Tuesday during my KSMO, the sensations in my genitals and back reached the point when twice I had what amounted to an orgasm without ejaculation. My body literally convulsed in frenzy, particularly my pelvic area. My arms and legs were also involved. Sadly, I could barely feel the orgasmic sensations of pleasure I had been feeling – although I tried to. I suspect I was discharging the energy rather than let it build. ??? I think I think I should have used sounds to discharge the energy. Anyone, am I correct.
Thursday, the same thing happened but I relaxed as much as I could -- only had a few strong contractions. And right then and there were the feelings of orgasmic pleasure – far more than I had ever felt them before in my life. The process is working Jack!
My echoes keep getting stronger and more noticeable. I am now having what I am calling “morninggasms.” Its been many a year since I have awoken with an erection. The last few days, however, I have been waking early with a start of an erection and feeling sexual pleasure in my genitals (energy flow) (maybe what wakes me) and then in my groin area and back. My whole body was really "vibrating". Each time, and quickly, I became fully erect and very hard. At this point yesterday, and today, I was “off to races.” The intense pleasure (it moved around) this morning must have lasted for at least 45 plus minutes.
I noted this morning during my morninggasms that sometimes an area would feel more erotic and when I shifted my attention to it, the pleasure in other areas often seemed to intensify. I was also aware of some sort of flutter of a muscle(s) in my groin area. Anybody know what this is all about??? I would say my key word from time to time– that sometimes intensified the feelings but not always.
During this mornings KSMO exercise, the feelings were even more intense. Toward the end, even my eyelids were fluttering. Does this mean anything. ???
I feel I am making great progress – but still a ways to go as I am not yet feeling “waves” of pleasure -- something I am looking forward to. I know that my “mindful meditation” is helping. It took a long time for me to learn to just feel sensations in my body without being judgmental or trying to “figure out” why or where they came from. The secret is to “just feel” and accept – “thinking” not allowed. This may apply to this KMSO process also.
And each morning when I meditate I thank my spirit guides for their help in this process. I happen to believe this also helps.
Total Comments 3
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Ageless Congratulations!
For quite a few years, happy events have brought me too to an emotional tenderness and quiet tears and for me it seems to be part of healing unresolved unfinished grief/grieving. There are several layers... Yet I find it positive and that it does not take away from the happiness of the event itself as I experience it with others... You are now having these orgasmic energies at various levels of intensity and transformation all throughout your body, as you describe, and the flutters, everything, part of your body's adjustments are you rewire. I had never had a wet dream until my rewiring progressed to a point, nor had I ever had any pleasure from my nipples being stimulated until a point along my rewiring path with Aneros and KSMO. Your morningasms are wonderful. The movement of the energy around your abdomen and back is very good too. I found it beneficial to try working with the energies by using the Key Sound. From hit and miss, it became more in tune and if I tried to resonate, with my prostate for example, I found the Key Sound could indeed help direct the energies in desired ways with increasing reliability. Getting to know the fawn? Your intuition will guide you in your experiments with that and good for you for beginning that exploration. Your reading on Tantra will likely prove helpful as these energies expand and move more throughout your body. I am very interested that you "work" with spirit guides... this sounds like a richly complementary practice. How long have you followed this spirituality? Ageless, I agree with Jack's statement in that July 12th chat we had: "By George I think he's got it!" You seem to be doing very, very well indeed! All the best! artform as we rewire we are all reconnected |
 
Updated 20th July 2008 at 04:28 by artform |
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My Spiritual JourneyArtform --
I too have never had a wet dream -- at least one that I remember. When my sexuality awakened, I did have a couple of nocturnal emissions, and they felt good. Unfortunately, my mother found out and really chewed me out for "playing" with myself. AND that was the end of wet dreams for a long time. I recieved one giant negative lifetime cripling message that day. Oh I have had a few nighttime releases later in my youth, but NO wet dreams. I have even thought about hypnosis but have not tried it yet. Your comment might just be the motivation I needed. I think I have known for quite some time that there was a Spirit side of me. I even had Shamans tell me so. They said I was operating out of my 6th and 7th Chakras, although I was not aware of it. I didn't know how to use it though. About 20 years ago, I went to a month long Stan Grof Holotropic breathing workshop at Esalen. That was an spiritual awakening experience. About 5 years ago, I went to a weekend Shaman training workshop. That was a start. I have attended numerous workshops since including two 5 day Shaman training workshops at Esalen with Hank Wesselman, a well known Shaman. Currently, I have a monthly Shaman drumming group at my house. My power animals I use the most are a wolf and a jaguar. They will not help me unless I ask them to. This is also true for other Spirits I use. Whenever I use my power animal or a Spirit, I need to thank it. They love praise. If there was one word that describes a Shaman's practice, it would be INTENTIONS. Shamans learn that what one intends to happen is what will usually happen -- although when is often an unknown. I am trying to use intentions with help from my Spirit guides in my KSMO practice. It appears be working! + If you want more information, let me know. |
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Thanks Ageless.
Jack too will be fascinated with your Shamanic interests and background. He has some key resources to recommend too. I agree very much about the importance of intentionality. Although I have not studied Shamanism particularly, a friend has and is and she contends that I am an old soul with at least 12 former lives worth exploring. Since that realm is connected to Tantric practice in some versions, I may get there yet through all of these explorations. Have you explored past lives in your Shamanic activities? I am very interested to know how your spirit guides participate and you work with them in your KSMO practice. I look at the world as freshly as possible, but through a phenomenological lens. Phenomenology places a great deal of emphasis on the importance of intention and intentionality. This quote from Paul Valéry is also on the mark I sense: "Seeing is forgetting the name of the thing that one sees." We live in our language (written, oral, aural, visual, tactile, signed) and the particular dialects that we absorb as children and choose and learn later in life. Experiencing freshly, truly experiencing "the thing", can require us to relax outside language and our particular vocabulary. Afternoon of the Fawn. Again, all the best Ageless! artform as we rewire we are all reconnected |
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Recent Blog Entries by Ageless
- Progress report blog #4 (20th July 2008)
- Addition to previous blog (14th July 2008)
- First orgasm? (14th July 2008)
- Progress report #2 (12th July 2008)
- My first blog (30th June 2008)
