magnagei's blog

So I attended a chat on Saturday where just me and Jack talked for about a half hour and he helped clear some things up. I've had the keysound for years now and would only practice for about a week or until I got bored and gave up because my results would be so minimal. Anyways we talked about terror at the gates. I thought my problem was trying to hard to make it happen. After my recent experiences I think it's a combination of both.

The past couple weeks I've been thinking more about the key sound practice. Didn't really play around with it, just thought about it. I've been taking Alexander Technique lessons which is a series of hands on lessons to bring about more bodymind awareness and learn about your happens with the ultimate goal of releasing physical mental and emotional tension and living and moving more effortlessly. I think this is the reason that I have become more interested in MMOs, kind of like the idea that I would 'do better' with them now.

So...Jack's idea of a terror at the gates, or a fear of letting the energy 'do it's thing' gave me a nice conceptual roadmap to play around with. So I tried laying down and just relaxing for a minute, letting go of the idea of trying to make something happen, and then kind of trying to 'give in' to the orgasmic energy. (Jack and I were talking about the idea that the orgasmic energy is like it's own intelligence, it does it's thing you just kind of lay there and let it, coaxing it with key sounds and slight touches)

So for the first time ever, key sound practice felt natural, but it was still rather minimal in the pleasurable feelings. It felt like there was a divine feminine energy going on and some pleasurable feelings. I know off protocol, but that night on a whim I just felt something so I went with it, I think I only did maybe 2 key sounds but touched myself all over quite a few times. This was very pleasurable. It really did feel like it had it's own self and it just came on when I let it. It was very nice, but it also felt satisfying. (I should note that ejaculorgasms haven't felt satisfying for me for a long time now and I didn't even orgasm with this!, just nice feelings)

2 or 3 days later I played around again (just a couple mins ago). At first I felt nothing, so I was trying to play around with my body and my mind to see if it could get into that 'state of being' in which the Energy would start playing around with me. Now I think I can get it at will. For me it's a combination of truly relaxing the mind and relaxing the body. They are the same, but since people (or maybe just me) are so disconnected with their bodies in modern society, it feels like there is a separation.

what does it feel like? It feels like my mind is completely open, nothing in particular going on and no striving. Then once I get this, which is effortless by the way (but that doesn't mean I can make it happen every time, as sometimes we try too hard), I simply try to translate the mental feeling into my body. Then there is an openness in my body. This by itself generates nice feelings, then a key sound or slight touch only amplifies it. I am still very far from an energetic orgasm, but for once in my life I am truly truly enjoying my MMO practice. I'm so excited because i've had the tapes for so long, and have never 'got it', now I am enjoying the journey so I could care less when I achieve the actual MMO.

So that's my advice, let the mind be open, but in the same time don't try to 'hold' the body where it is. Let it be open to. It really feels, at this stage anyways, that you have no say over the energy, you have to let it be it's own entity.

Sorry for the length, hope this was helpful.