Relax and/or arousal?
Posted 19th May 2009 at 01:32 by mariachi
Recently I celebrated 6 years as part of KSMO community - and there is one area which has always confused me; the relation between arousal and relaxation.
For a "conventional" sexual experience (alone or with a partner) I think it is safe to make the personal generalisation (are generalisations ever safe??), that arousal is a foremost ingredient for me. BOTH in the act itself and looking forward to the act. This most often leads to ejaculation/acute genital orgasms.
Personally, the last 6 years has seen me deal with "demons" surrounding the enjoyment of this most conventional sex, to the point that I did not even look forward to this most basic type of orgasm. It has been a long, long journey - but I can now say that I both look forward to, and fully enjoy "conventional" sexual experiences
While KSMO has helped me develop and expand my sexuality, I find myself confused with the level of arousal I should bring to actual KSMO sessions.
In the past I looked to avoid basic arousal in my genital area, so the relaxation approach to KSMO was appealing - it was like sex without the sexual feelings that made me feel uncomfortable.
Now, with the welcoming of my sexual feelings I find the old thought habits still clicking in when it comes to KSMO. I find myself thinking that I have to be still, not feel 'turned on', not think of anything arousing etc. etc. The result is that thinking about a session feels a little like thinking of a doing a chore - yet, paradoxically, as I get into the sessions they are quite often anything but a chore and feel good!
So here is my question: What level of arousal do people bring to a KSMO session as compared to a "conventional" sexual experience?
For e.g. With acute genital stim one may use erotic material to help get the "buzz" going. Or one may fantasize. Do people do the same for KSMO? Or is it a more meditative approach - and if so, as it is a sexual practice, what gets them excited about starting a session?
Any ideas would be much appreciated!
For a "conventional" sexual experience (alone or with a partner) I think it is safe to make the personal generalisation (are generalisations ever safe??), that arousal is a foremost ingredient for me. BOTH in the act itself and looking forward to the act. This most often leads to ejaculation/acute genital orgasms.
Personally, the last 6 years has seen me deal with "demons" surrounding the enjoyment of this most conventional sex, to the point that I did not even look forward to this most basic type of orgasm. It has been a long, long journey - but I can now say that I both look forward to, and fully enjoy "conventional" sexual experiences
While KSMO has helped me develop and expand my sexuality, I find myself confused with the level of arousal I should bring to actual KSMO sessions.
In the past I looked to avoid basic arousal in my genital area, so the relaxation approach to KSMO was appealing - it was like sex without the sexual feelings that made me feel uncomfortable.
Now, with the welcoming of my sexual feelings I find the old thought habits still clicking in when it comes to KSMO. I find myself thinking that I have to be still, not feel 'turned on', not think of anything arousing etc. etc. The result is that thinking about a session feels a little like thinking of a doing a chore - yet, paradoxically, as I get into the sessions they are quite often anything but a chore and feel good!
So here is my question: What level of arousal do people bring to a KSMO session as compared to a "conventional" sexual experience?
For e.g. With acute genital stim one may use erotic material to help get the "buzz" going. Or one may fantasize. Do people do the same for KSMO? Or is it a more meditative approach - and if so, as it is a sexual practice, what gets them excited about starting a session?
Any ideas would be much appreciated!
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