My thoughts of the day/week ...
Love ....and letting go
Posted 26th April 2009 at 15:40 by Laly
I've spent some time ...pert near a month searching the deepest recesses of my mind, my heart and my spirit--
The past month I have taken part of a Master Minding Class with world renown author Al Diaz (http://www.thetitusconcept.com) who wrote a couple of wonderful books- one called The Titus Concept.
Now not to plug his book TOO much ...suffice it to say it is a great book that helps you to find your true and loving self...not by showing you what you don't know-- but by the things you ALREADY KNOW!! It raises awareness of things you kNow already by engaging those ideas/thoughts/feelings you already possess and allowing yourself to expand on them .
One of the assignments we were given for the class was to morning and night for a week - say 3 times while looking in a mirror "I love you unconditionally". I couldnt do it , not without weeping uncontrollably.
This past month- I've stepped outside myself and really taken a good HARD look- at what I truly wanted in my life-- to love, be loved, be happy, joyous in all that I do- all that I am .
Once i TRULY let go of the the blame and anguish over my daughter and let her go and love her none-the-less. The transformation has just been astounding!!!
Last night I attended a wild game supper (n NOO I didn't eat the meat dishes)...was chatting up with a guy I knew from where I worked- a patron from my library. We got to talking, which in of itself for me was a treasure and a pleasure-- the ease with which I was open and talking. BEing the true me- as Al would say :-) .
Anyway, I mentioned having a meeting I needed to be at later on and he asked what it was about--Jack would would have been proud!! I didnt blush , stammer or anything like that-- I just said -(because of WHERE we were) I cant really discuss it too much as we were in a church-- but it involved a discussion on sex. The discussion went on between him and I for about 3-4 minutes before ANOTHER guy came up and joined in our discussion. To say I had their rapt attention is putting it mildly. *grins
I wrote down the forum wesite link for them and suggested they check it out-- and if they had any questions to call me or email me and I'd be happy to talk with them. THEN the one guy totally blew my mind by HUGGING me. I just smiled.
K-- kinda gabby today huh LOL...That's been my month- in a nutshell.
The past month I have taken part of a Master Minding Class with world renown author Al Diaz (http://www.thetitusconcept.com) who wrote a couple of wonderful books- one called The Titus Concept.
Now not to plug his book TOO much ...suffice it to say it is a great book that helps you to find your true and loving self...not by showing you what you don't know-- but by the things you ALREADY KNOW!! It raises awareness of things you kNow already by engaging those ideas/thoughts/feelings you already possess and allowing yourself to expand on them .
One of the assignments we were given for the class was to morning and night for a week - say 3 times while looking in a mirror "I love you unconditionally". I couldnt do it , not without weeping uncontrollably.
This past month- I've stepped outside myself and really taken a good HARD look- at what I truly wanted in my life-- to love, be loved, be happy, joyous in all that I do- all that I am .
Once i TRULY let go of the the blame and anguish over my daughter and let her go and love her none-the-less. The transformation has just been astounding!!!
Last night I attended a wild game supper (n NOO I didn't eat the meat dishes)...was chatting up with a guy I knew from where I worked- a patron from my library. We got to talking, which in of itself for me was a treasure and a pleasure-- the ease with which I was open and talking. BEing the true me- as Al would say :-) .
Anyway, I mentioned having a meeting I needed to be at later on and he asked what it was about--Jack would would have been proud!! I didnt blush , stammer or anything like that-- I just said -(because of WHERE we were) I cant really discuss it too much as we were in a church-- but it involved a discussion on sex. The discussion went on between him and I for about 3-4 minutes before ANOTHER guy came up and joined in our discussion. To say I had their rapt attention is putting it mildly. *grins
I wrote down the forum wesite link for them and suggested they check it out-- and if they had any questions to call me or email me and I'd be happy to talk with them. THEN the one guy totally blew my mind by HUGGING me. I just smiled.
K-- kinda gabby today huh LOL...That's been my month- in a nutshell.
Total Comments 8
Comments
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Good on you Laly! A great little story.
Smiling for you,
Mog
Posted 26th April 2009 at 16:48 by mog
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Thanks Mog - HUGSSPosted 26th April 2009 at 16:50 by Laly
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It's the first time I can recall where I didn't blush talking about KSMO...and also a first in which I was relaxed and very open in talking about KSMO with strangers.Posted 26th April 2009 at 21:35 by Laly
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>.....a first in which I was relaxed and very open in talking about KSMO with strangers.<
How do you do that? - I've got an ocean-liner-sized hangup over mentioning sex to anybody face-to-face!Posted 26th April 2009 at 22:24 by mog
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hmmmm//sounds like you have the same hang-up I used to Mog....
I can only say for me .... it was letting go of the idea that discussing sex period was dirty or shameful. I can only surmise that comes from societal baggage that I "took on". At least in my family it is not talked about...openly at least.
for me it was letting go of that hang-up or furball and just begin comfortable with being who I truly wanted to be...the TRUE mePosted 26th April 2009 at 22:36 by Laly
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>hmmmm//sounds like you have the same hang-up I used to Mog....<
Very much the same, I expect.
In your case you could hardly help having acquired yours owing to your traumatic experience of an earlier time.
In my case I can offer no excuse. Except that, as a child, my parents had fallen out and never spoke to each other. But if they had it wouldn't have made any difference - typical working-class families of that era were very unlikely to even mention the dreaded S-word. You say that the same taboo also existed in your family.
>......comfortable with being who I truly wanted to be...the TRUE me.<
You seem pretty happy with the outcome, Laly. You've certainly worked hard at a solution. That's great!Posted 28th April 2009 at 17:08 by mog
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Thanks Mog....yeah- thanks to a LOT of love and support of my KSMO family and friendsPosted 28th April 2009 at 22:27 by Laly
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Hi..sorry I've been awhile for so long...alot of things just kept getting in the way of my posting.
I've been doing a few things that I "really" didn't particularly want to do ... but I knew in my heart I should...so that I can move on and forward with my life.
What I am referring to is I spent a month writing a letter to my daughter....of things I wanted to say to her....putting thoughts and feelings to paper (or at least written form) wasn't easy as I hit particular points and I weeped so hard I had to set the letter aside.
AS I write this. the tears are already falling. The love and feelings I poured out to her...trying to keep the letter positive and full of love.
I spoke to a few people about this before I started and they thought it was a great idea and a good release for me.
I came to a few new revelations about myself and my views over the years and how I can't truly know how anyone else felt but myself.
Mog...as you and I chatted in the chat box--and my mentioning it's been a year (or so) since I actively done a full KSMO session....
after we spoke-- that got me to thinking....about how life gets in the way.
I promise that I will make the time for myself more.
ThanksPosted 18th September 2009 at 21:35 by Laly
