Fruitbat and Lambu - follow the yellow brick road...
Posted 12th February 2008 at 12:09 by fruitbat
Just starting on my journey with MMO and looking back at my sexual life til now. My sister is a medical sex therapist and I've always had an intense interest in sexual matters -much more than any other woman I've met.. so strange that 2 of us in the same family ended up so interested huh?
Sadly my intellectual interest hasn't really been matched by my physical experience. There have been so many emotional blocks along the way. Recently discovered that my first husband may be gay.. which would explain a lot. I had counselling after my divorce when I explained how bad I felt always asking for sex. and the counsellor said why didn't I wait for him to initate sex and I asked how much longer than 3 months was I supposed to wait??
My next serious relationship kinda opened the box and suddenly I was having all the kind of sexual experiences that I imagined all during the long unfulfiling years of my marriage... then just as I was starting to get into it - he baled out.. my daughter was more baggage than he could deal with. I was heartbroken, and since then - more than 12 years ago - I have never had that kind of intensity. In fact for the last 10 years my sex drive has virtually disappeared - which when I now have a wonderfully sexual second husband - is really kinda disappointing. (understatement of the year)... though with his feelings of weakness following ejaculation (the Chinese doc suggested he should only ejaculate once a month!) - I think if I had the drive I used to have he would be ejaculating bone marrow or would be in a coma...
One thing I found recently that may be of interest to other women posting is a a type of massage called Maya massage or Arvigo massage which is a Bolivian shamanic tradition where the uterus is the centre of the woman and they suggest trauma to the uterus can lead to a lot of physical problems not only in the abdomen but also in the legs and feet. Trauma to the uterus can be from childbirth and car crashes to as simple a thing as walking in bare feet on cold floors.
The massage is taught to you by a therapist during 1 session - then you go home and do it yourself - so it's cheap and effective. Also have to do a bit of steaming and castor oil packs.
I have found that regular massage has started to restore my desire (hoorah) but I've been lazy and haven't done it as much as I should.
I also read the Female Ejaculation book by Deborah Sundahl and yes I can ejaculate - but I feel nothing when I do :-(
I feel I have trauma blocking my natural sexual ability - not anything due to abuse or anything like that... but just from heartbreak and deep disappointments sexually over the years. Oh I almost forgot the last 5 years trying for another baby, multiple miscarriages and the abdominal surgeries I had as well... so quite a lot of physical trauma to add into the mix.
My heartfelt desire is to reclaim my sexuality now - and share it with my wonderful husband - but have so much grief about getting to 45 - and having missed out on so much and being so closed down now compared to how I 'know' things should be..
It makes me cry just thinking about it.
So that's a sum of all the furballs I know are in there waiting for me to deal with them. I'm planning on doing my first session tonight when Lambu goes off to work (with the CD for him to listen to) so will post and let you know how I/we get on.
Sadly my intellectual interest hasn't really been matched by my physical experience. There have been so many emotional blocks along the way. Recently discovered that my first husband may be gay.. which would explain a lot. I had counselling after my divorce when I explained how bad I felt always asking for sex. and the counsellor said why didn't I wait for him to initate sex and I asked how much longer than 3 months was I supposed to wait??
My next serious relationship kinda opened the box and suddenly I was having all the kind of sexual experiences that I imagined all during the long unfulfiling years of my marriage... then just as I was starting to get into it - he baled out.. my daughter was more baggage than he could deal with. I was heartbroken, and since then - more than 12 years ago - I have never had that kind of intensity. In fact for the last 10 years my sex drive has virtually disappeared - which when I now have a wonderfully sexual second husband - is really kinda disappointing. (understatement of the year)... though with his feelings of weakness following ejaculation (the Chinese doc suggested he should only ejaculate once a month!) - I think if I had the drive I used to have he would be ejaculating bone marrow or would be in a coma...
One thing I found recently that may be of interest to other women posting is a a type of massage called Maya massage or Arvigo massage which is a Bolivian shamanic tradition where the uterus is the centre of the woman and they suggest trauma to the uterus can lead to a lot of physical problems not only in the abdomen but also in the legs and feet. Trauma to the uterus can be from childbirth and car crashes to as simple a thing as walking in bare feet on cold floors.
The massage is taught to you by a therapist during 1 session - then you go home and do it yourself - so it's cheap and effective. Also have to do a bit of steaming and castor oil packs.
I have found that regular massage has started to restore my desire (hoorah) but I've been lazy and haven't done it as much as I should.
I also read the Female Ejaculation book by Deborah Sundahl and yes I can ejaculate - but I feel nothing when I do :-(
I feel I have trauma blocking my natural sexual ability - not anything due to abuse or anything like that... but just from heartbreak and deep disappointments sexually over the years. Oh I almost forgot the last 5 years trying for another baby, multiple miscarriages and the abdominal surgeries I had as well... so quite a lot of physical trauma to add into the mix.
My heartfelt desire is to reclaim my sexuality now - and share it with my wonderful husband - but have so much grief about getting to 45 - and having missed out on so much and being so closed down now compared to how I 'know' things should be..
It makes me cry just thinking about it.
So that's a sum of all the furballs I know are in there waiting for me to deal with them. I'm planning on doing my first session tonight when Lambu goes off to work (with the CD for him to listen to) so will post and let you know how I/we get on.
Total Comments 15
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Hello fruitbat!
Welcome to the forum! And such a nice introductory post. I'm sure you already know that a woman can expect to gain as much benefit from the KSMO as a man, and there are already a number of ladies around here who have taken good advantage of that. I expect you will hear from at least one of them very shortly!  >In fact for the last 10 years my sex drive has virtually disappeared - .....< That's where I started from, three years ago! This morning I was inside the zone for just over an hour enduring an uncounted number of the most outrageous orgasms of my life. I'm a lot older than you (and on the other side of the coin) but if you are beginning the KSMO adventure at 45 you have an exciting adventure in front of you and you have my envy. Good luck, and keep us all posted, Mog |
 
Updated 12th February 2008 at 16:03 by mog |
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Wow!! It's a girl!! And a couple!! I look forward to your future posts.
I suspect that everyone here is intensely interested in sexual matters as well! You will find a wealth of information here, both from what has already been posted, and what will be posted. Just ask! Prepare your mind to be blown, though, we go into pretty deep topics. Quote ...I think if I had the drive I used to have he would be ejaculating bone marrow or would be in a coma... End Quote Goodness woman!! My heart just skipped a beat! Is your sister single??  As far as getting your drive back, my first suggestion would be to check out "The Orgasmic Diet". Read it, then ask questions. And for his weakness afterwards, KSMO is where you wanna go! The massage looks pretty cool. What kind of massage therapist would know it? I also suggest that you stay on protocol for the week, and try the couples excercise. Then, come Saturday (or Sunday, depending on where in the world you are), you get in the chat with Jack and some other users, and ask as many questions as you like. I look forward to your first session post! I myself am scheduled a session, after a month hiatus. What fun!! |
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Hey Valentine,
Thanks for your reply.... Big sis could be interested, she's in Scotland where are you?? :-) The uterus massage is given only by specially trained therapists.. check out www.arvigomassage.com there seem to be ladies all over the US who do this. (it's a lady to lady massage - but it's just like a regular deep tissue abdominal massage - no funny stuff :-) ) I'll check out the diet and I'm planning to try out the breathing and humming tonight and see how I get on. Will post feedback when I have some :-) Aren't there many ladies on the board?? I guess the technique is mainly marketed as a boy thing... (boys get all the fun...) Thanks for posting - I'm feeling very welcomed :-) |
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Dang, I'm in california.
Yes, we do have ladies here, and yes, it is mainly marketed to guys. But it works regardless of gender. That's why it is so great that you get to practice with a partner! Have fun! |
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Women on the board...Actually Val and fruitbat, this program is not marketed mainly to guys.
It is marketed equally to guys and to women. Women seem to be a little more shy about participating, but I assure you that you and other women will be treated with respect here. Anybody who does not treat you with respect will be banned. I want this to be a safe place for men and women. It's not a dating site nor a cruising site. It's really great that you are here and posting... Laly appreciates the company And we certainly welcome your point of view, and your questions! Wishing you all the best, Jack |
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PS: fruitbat, it's not just any ol' hum. It's a very specific two part sound that pumps the arousal.
After you've practiced it a few times, please be sure to post a sample of your Key Sound in an .mp3 file to the PRIVATE, Free! Key Sound™ Validation sub forum. That phrase I just wrote is a clickable link to it, and there is also a clickable link at the top of the Forum Home Page after you log in where it says: GET YOUR KEY SOUND™ ARTICULATION VALIDATED NOW |
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Hi Fruitbat--- let me be the first woman to welcome you to the Forum.
I have been practicing Jack's method for just a hair over 3 year now . Although I have never been married, I can relate to alot of what you were saying. I look forward to hearing more and I and the other forum members are here to support and encourage you even. any questions- just ask and I will do my best to answer them , from my woman's perspective to KSMO. Love and Light |
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Updated 21st February 2008 at 22:04 by Jack |
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Hi Laly
Thanks for posting... I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with all that testosterone.. (only kidding..) I did try testosterone once for my libido but didn't have any affect.. sadly... Looking forward to seeing how I get on with the humming.. so far it's just trying to master the sound and get over the embarrassment and performance anxiety... I'm feeling hopeful about it but also expecting disappointment. I've tried so many things over the years, but all promise much and deliver little. Or they work for everyone else but not for me :-( Just had a very stressful day.. my shoulders are up round my ears and lambu is working so nobody to rub them :-( Anyway tomorrow is another practice day - didn't indulge today - so will see how that goes. Any hints and tips gratefully received. I did post about my first try yesterday but it seems to have disappeared. I had problems lying down - I couldn't get enough breath ... and tried other postures and ended up on my hands and knees... anyone else posted about this? I sent lambu off with his cd to listen to, will be interested to see what he makes of it.. Night all will post again soon. |
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Quote:
Thanks for posting... I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with all that testosterone.. (only kidding..) I did try testosterone once for my libido but didn't have any affect.. sadly...
Quote:
Looking forward to seeing how I get on with the humming.. so far it's just trying to master the sound and get over the embarrassment and performance anxiety...
What I do now I take a few minutes before my practice and either listen to some relaxing music or i lay down and just focus on my breathing - slowing my breath down and clearing my mind of all the stress and just allowing myself to 'let go' and just feel. Quote:
I'm feeling hopeful about it but also expecting disappointment. I've tried so many things over the years, but all promise much and deliver little. Or they work for everyone else but not for me :-(
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Just had a very stressful day.. my shoulders are up round my ears and lambu is working so nobody to rub them :-(
Quote:
Anyway tomorrow is another practice day - didn't indulge today - so will see how that goes. Any hints and tips gratefully received. I did post about my first try yesterday but it seems to have disappeared. I had problems lying down - I couldn't get enough breath ... and tried other postures and ended up on my hands and knees... anyone else posted about this?
. Find a position that makes you the most comfortable... mine is sitting in a chair and on my right side on the bed. Quote:
I sent lambu off with his cd to listen to, will be interested to see what he makes of it..
as long as Lambu is willing and no force is being used .Quote:
Night all will post again soon.
I invite you and lambu to our live chat this saturday -- hosted here in the forum... (click this link to find out time that chats are) I will be there as well as Jack and other forum members. It is a great way to get to know each other.love and light |
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Updated 15th February 2008 at 02:08 by Jack |
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quote
Hey Val Got the Orgasmic Diet book.. could it really be that simple? So I'm stuffing fish oil capsules down my throat with gay abandon (10 a day my god!) and have fished out my Kegel Exerciser... It says about two weeks to get the benefit, so I'll feed back later... but just wanted to say a big THANK YOU for the recommendation. end quote --------------------------------------- Hey Fruitbat! You already got the book, wow, and finished it?? Cool! To answer your question, I have no idea, as I am not a woman. But I can tell you that you can make it as easy or as difficult as you would like, same as any diet. Ten is alot of capsules! Are you sure they are high quality? I do know of people that take 5-10g, or more, of fish oil a day, which is two to four times what is suggested in the book! But they are bodybuilders or athletes. I feel a rant coming on, so brace yourself. This diet is not a magic pill. It does, however have a ton of answers, and if you put ALL of them together, you will get something. There are alot of obstacles to orgasm, like stress, bad diet, bad health emotionally, physically, etc. just to name a few. What this book does is get the diet figured out. For alot of people, getting their diet down is what gets them results because, I suspect, the other obstacles to orgasm in their life are already taken care of. I have read ALOT of the reviews and did my own research for the diet, and, unfortunately, a few of the reviewers got it wrong. They tried the diet for a few weeks, didn't get any noticable changes, and blamed the diet. But if you read the reveiw, you will see that the reviewer has other issues going on, like... I'll just say stress. Now, you did say that you had tried testosterone. If I remember correctly from the book, if you have too much SBG (Sex binding globules, I'm pretty sure there is an 'H' in there, ugh, don't quote me on this!), adding testosterone isn't gonna help. In light of this, you don't want to just increase testosterone, you also want to decrease SBG, AT THE SAME TIME. Example: You want to fill a pot hole (libido) with water. You start by spitting in it, but that takes forever, so you upgrade to a super high quality, best in the market garden water hose (testosterone treatment). The water is rising slowly, but the ground is, at the same time, leaching the water away, so any gains are short lived. At this point, some people will simply say that the water hose sucks, and you were tricked by the marketing. But others would go, 'Oh, ok, the hose is doing its thing perfectly, I'm just using it wrong.' And they would go and cover the sides of the pot hole with cement, then fill it with water, and have a new pool, and be the envy of all their friends. Dang, that was a pretty good example. I would highly suggest that you check out the authors website: www.orgasmicdiet.com You can make an account and ask the author directly any questions you have about the diet, and read others questions, too. And remember, just because it's not working NOW, doesn't mean it won't be working LATER. Just like KSMO, first few times, the echo effects are pretty subtle, but LATER, you will be rolling around in orgasmic bliss! (And go to the chat, jeez!) |
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H Fruitbat...
I was rolling my mind around other things I wanted to share with you and a few things came to mind regarding ways to relax. 1. A warm tub soak 2. Relaxing music 3. reading 4. Meditation Here is a link within the forum called "complementary resources" ... music recommendations Love and Light |
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have practiced a couple of times since my first post - but nothing momentous to note yet.. have just been practicing the hum before bed and usually falling asleep (so it's good for insomnia!)... I have noticed the odd shudder here and there so enough to keep me curious... What little libido I have is used up with Lambu - and been a bit busy and stressed ... but will try to do a proper practice session today. Haven't even had a chance to talk to lambu about it all. He's working shifts and worn out constantly. A bit of internal energy healing would do him the world of good.
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HI fruitbat
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have practiced a couple of times since my first post - but nothing momentous to note yet..
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have just been practicing the hum before bed and usually falling asleep (so it's good for insomnia!)... I have noticed the odd shudder here and there so enough to keep me curious...
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What little libido I have is used up with Lambu - and been a bit busy and stressed ... but will try to do a proper practice session today. Haven't even had a chance to talk to lambu about it all. He's working shifts and worn out constantly. A bit of internal energy healing would do him the world of good.
For me,, when I get stressed and grrr feeling ... I take a warm bath, listen to some soft relaxing music, or even read a book, watch TV ...anything to unwind the mind and relax the body. as for lambu and energy healing...if the relaxation methods do not seem to help ... there are some members here in the forum who do energy healing ... I am one of them ...and would be willing to "send healing" energy lambu's way .with Love and Light, Laly |
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Hi Laly
Thanks for the reply. Thanks for the offer of healing for lambu.. Por guy he needs all the xtra energy he can get at the moment.. I'm ashamed to say I've trained in energy healing myself but have lapsed in recent years. I must get my treatment table out of the garage and give him a good going over.... Thanks for the regular top ups and pep talks - it really helps :-) Take care Gilli xx |
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Thanks for the reply. Thanks for the offer of healing for lambu.. Por guy he needs all the xtra energy he can get at the moment..
. Quote:
I'm ashamed to say I've trained in energy healing myself but have lapsed in recent years. I must get my treatment table out of the garage and give him a good going over....
.I (and others) are here for you and lambu. Quote:
Thanks for the regular top ups and pep talks - it really helps :-)
I care...plain n simple . I've been wondering re: your low libido issues if you've seen a doctor about the health issues?? If at any time you (or lambu) do not feel well...do not force a practice ... in fact -- take a break... Practicing KSMO can bring up emotional issues which Jack calls fur-balls (do a key word search on "fur-balls" or "furballs" ). I do suggest finding a good doctor or counselor in help working through any emotional or physical pain... We are not qualified here to hand out professional medical 'diagnose' or be "counselors"...here is a great website in which had many many wonderful professional doctors, counselors, therapists, etc. --- www.aasect.org. It is better NOT to push past these feelings (should any arise), that when they do come up - it is an "opportunity" for personal growth. I can personally attest to the opportunity for personal growth fruitbat-- I've come across many furballs and bumps in my road and with help of my counselor, she and I have together overcome some rather harsh fears of mine. Each time I see her, she is just amazed in how much more relaxed I am , the light that is in my eyes, the joy just shining in my face. I just say thank you . I practice meditation regularly and constantly probe my heart, my mind and my soul for any 'discontent' and lay it out in front of me - pick it apart and think -- what is it about this that bothers me . Once I get to that, i just go "Oh, that's it ?? hmmm -- I don't need that any more and toss out that negative thought or feeling ".As I do my Reiki meditations and energy healings, I find myself smiling and my heart begins to soar. Quote:
Take care
HUGS laly |
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Recent Blog Entries by fruitbat
- still here... (10th September 2008)
- A month in... nothing much good to report... (14th March 2008)
- Fruitbat and Lambu - follow the yellow brick road... (12th February 2008)
